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Writing Samples
Band 6

Children today spend a lot of time on playing games and they spend little time on sports. What are the reasons and what should be done to tackle the problem?

#children #time #games #sports
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Nowadays,
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
 generation uses most of their
time
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
playing
games
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
allocate
Change the verb form
allocating
show examples
 little
time
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 sports. The primary factors for the
aformantioned
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
 issue are
addictive
Correct article usage
the addictive
show examples
 content of
games
Use synonyms
 and unaccessible
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
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. To tackle
this
Linking Words
 issue, control from authorities
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
should be required.
To begin
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 with, the first fundamental
reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
show examples
 why minors are very
engaging
Replace the word
engaged
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
games
Use synonyms
 is entertaining
fiturs
Correct your spelling
features
figures
 from video
games
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 means that game developers create
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
attractive content intentionally so players will be
addictive
Replace the word
addicted
show examples
.
As a result
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
pleasure
Replace the word
pleasant
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 feeling of playing
games
Use synonyms
 leads
children
Use synonyms
 to play the
games
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continouesly
Correct your spelling
continuously
 and forget their
time
Use synonyms
. The second reason is
unaccessible
Correct article usage
the unaccessible
show examples
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
 in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural areas. The limited
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sport
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
facilities
Use synonyms
 and far distances are
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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 possible
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 for
children
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 to
reluctant
Add a missing verb
be reluctant
show examples
doing
Change the verb form
to do
show examples
 sports.
For instance
Linking Words
, most of
Use synonyms
Add an article
the sport
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 centres are located in the big city so
children
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 who live in the rural area are having difficulties to go. There are
couple
Add an article
a couple
show examples
 of possible solutions to tackle the issue.
Children
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's caregivers and teachers should control their
play
Correct your spelling
playtime
show examples
time
Use synonyms
. It means a specific rule should be created for
children
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 and should be obeyed; adults
also
Linking Words
 may give appropriate
consequence
Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
show examples
 so the rules will run.
Moreover
Linking Words
, another
sollution
Correct your spelling
solution
 is local governments should build
child friendly
Add a hyphen
child-friendly
show examples
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 areas and
facilities
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.
For example
Linking Words
,
authoritators
Correct your spelling
authorisations
authoritative
 can construct parks and playgrounds in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
accessible areas.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
 use most of their free
time
Use synonyms
 on video
games
Use synonyms
 rather than doing sports.
This
Linking Words
 is because
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
games
a game
show examples
games
Use synonyms
 can be so entertaining
while
Linking Words
sport
Use synonyms
 is hard to access. The offering solutions are control from the
children
Use synonyms
's parents and building several
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
facilties
Correct your spelling
facilities
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
governments.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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