IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below shows changes in the numbers of residents cycling to work in different areas of the UK between 2001 and 2011.

The table below shows changes in the numbers of residents cycling to work in different areas of the UK between 2001 and 2011.
The table shows data about the people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 used bicycles to go to work in 2001 and 2011 and the percentage of change between these years in different zones of the UK.
Overall
Linking Words
, in all the
areas
Punctuation problem
areas,
show examples
 there has been an
increase
Use synonyms
 in the number of persons cycling to work. Mainly, Inner
London
Use synonyms
 had the largest rise by far.
However
Linking Words
, Outer
London
Use synonyms
 had the smallest
increase
Use synonyms
 between 2001 and 2011.
Therefore
Linking Words
, we can see that urban
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 tended generally to have more growth than other regions in the UK. There are three areas that represent the biggest growth in the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of residents cycling to work.
Firstly
Linking Words
, Inner
London
Use synonyms
 had a rise from 43,494 persons in 2001 to 106,219 in
2011
Punctuation problem
2011,
show examples
 with
144
Correct article usage
a 144
show examples
 per
cent
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
increase
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, Brighton and Hove changed from 3,168 to 6,635 with a 109 per
cent
Use synonyms
increase
Use synonyms
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, Bristol had 8,108 persons
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 were using cycles to reach their jobs in 2001 and 15,768 in
2011
Punctuation problem
2011,
show examples
 with a growth of 94 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the difference between these three regions and the others is really weak. Most other areas showed smaller increases. Newcastle, Sheffield and Cardiff grew by between 65 and 81 per
cent
Use synonyms
, but Gateshead rose only by 61 per
cent
Use synonyms
.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, smaller increases were seen in Exeter, Leeds and Liverpool, with rises of between 48 and 54 per
cent
Use synonyms
. Outer
London
Use synonyms
 experienced the smallest change, increasing by just 45 per
cent
Use synonyms
.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words increase, london, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 3 times.
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