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Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some people believe that humans should be able to use animals for their own benefit, while others argue that the rights of animals should be protected. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #humans #animals #benefit #rights
There are many opinions
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
some
people
 believe that humans should be able to
use
animals
 for their own benefit, and there is another opinion that the rights of
animals
 should be protected. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
animals
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
 an
inegral
Correct your spelling
integral
 role in
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 life. But we should
use
 them intelligently.
Long
Add an article
A long
show examples
 time ago, human
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used
animals
 as food or tools. In cold climates,
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
use
 animal skins to make coats or blankets. Nowadays, human
also
 uses
animals
 for
scientific
Add an article
the scientific
show examples
 experience.
Because
Add the preposition
ofBecause
show examples
 biological similarity between humans and
animals
. During the Covid-19 pandemic, to create
vaccine
Correct article usage
a vaccine
show examples
 they need to experiment on
animals
 before they experiment on
people
. So we can see the importance of
animals
 to
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. It's not bad to
use
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
, but it's bad if you
use
animals
 for
wrong
Change the article
the wrong
show examples
 purpose or for personal benefit. Some
people
 killed rare
animals
 for money or their own benefit. That has led to many species becoming extinct because of man, not climate. So we need to protect rare
animals
 and harness enough other
animals
.
Submitted by yeshomeclass on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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