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Band 3

Government should regulate the level of violence in films in the television and in cinema. Some think they should not be regulated. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#government #level #violence #films #television #cinema #think
Some people argue that
government
 should implement the amount of
violence
 in all shows and movies when broadcasting to the public.
While
 others believe that it is not the control of the
government
. I believe that it is the role of the
government
 to limit the displaying
violence
 in movies and television. On the one hand, the
government
 should not intervene in the level of
violence
 in film broadcasting, as it feels like they are limiting human rights. People are free to express their likes and dislikes, and they have the right to make their own decisions. If the
government
 are limiting
this
, it shows that the authority do not allow its citizen to express their freedom which can cause a
stirred
Replace the word
stir
show examples
 in the public.
For instance
, a city in Germany
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
banned the
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
 genre in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
film in 1987. Not long after, there is a
On the other hand
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should limit the amount of brutality when broadcasting, as children are likely to be influenced by it. Since children are not capable of making their decisions as they are often
influences
Wrong verb form
influenced
show examples
 by their
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
show examples
, if they grew up watching
those roughness
Change the determiner
that roughness
show examples
, they will likely become violent.
For instance
, a study from
University
Correct article usage
the University
show examples
 of London shows that
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 from an early age that grew up with brutal surroundings
such
 as experiencing second-hand
violence
 or watching
those genre
Change the determiner
that genre
those genres
show examples
 grew up to be more violent than compared to others.
Submitted by cspheaa on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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