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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

THE MAPS ILLUSTRATE HOW ONE SEASIDE HOLIDAY RESORT CHANGED BETWEEN 1950 AND 1990.

THE MAPS ILLUSTRATE HOW ONE SEASIDE HOLIDAY RESORT CHANGED BETWEEN 1950 AND 1990.
#maps #holiday #resort
The three maps show what happened in the seaside holiday resort in the
last
 40 years: from 1940 to 1990.
Overall
, it can be seen between 1950 and 1970 resort experienced
Correct article usage
a gradually
show examples
gradually
Change the word
gradual
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 transformation which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
happened in
Add an article
the center
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center
Change the spelling
centre
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 and west
side
Fix the agreement mistake
sides
show examples
. In 1990, we can see
resort
Correct article usage
the resort
show examples
 was changed beyond recognition
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to the 1970. First of all,
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 side of the map used to include woodland and old track. In 1970, you can see woodland was
turn
Wrong verb form
turned
show examples
 into
caravan
Add an article
the caravan
a caravan
show examples
 park and
track
Correct article usage
the track
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also
 was changed to
road
Add an article
the road
a road
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 which is wider than
primary
Correct article usage
the primary
show examples
. Villas were taken the place of beach huts. Now turn to 1990 when the city witnessed main constructions. We can see several buildings which are new
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
 place.
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
 one is landscaped gardens which
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used to be sand dunes.
Second
Change the article
The second
show examples
 one would be
surf
Correct article usage
the surf
show examples
 school which is located near to
sea
Add an article
the sea
show examples
.
Pool
Add an article
The pool
show examples
 is the
last
 but not the least construction on
this
 list. Villas are extended to
hotel
Fix the agreement mistake
hotels
show examples
 despite they were built recently.
Caravan
Correct article usage
The Caravan
show examples
 park is altered to
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 park.
Finally
, only
road
Correct article usage
the road
show examples
remain
Change the verb form
remains
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 unchanged
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 year.
Submitted by moxinurabjalilova on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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