The diagram illustrates how bees produce honey.
The given diagram shows the process of making
honey
by bees
.
It can be seen that there are three main steps in producing honey
beginning with bees
make a hive
for collecting nectar from flowers followed by transfer to dive and finally
processing into honey
for people or themselves to consume.
First of all, bees
have to build a container called Hive
, It is connected by multiple built hives into one. Next,
bees
leave the hive
to find suitable flowers to collect nectar. for making honey
.
After it is taken back, the production begins inside the hive
. Each nectar is transferred into cells that used the wing to make the air for cooling them down. As a result
, the water evaporates and ,,
Change the punctuation
apply
finally
honey
is made and transformed into a jar for sale.Submitted by gor_toey on
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words honey, bees, hive with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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