IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some feel that individuals should have the right to strike in all jobs while others feel there are exceptions. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#feel #individuals #right #strike #jobs #exceptions
It is often argued that it is fair to have the
right
 to
strike
 in all
parts
 of
jobs
while
 others believe that some
parts
 of
jobs
 should not join to
strike
. I think there are exceptions for some professions. On the one hand, there are some arguments that having the
right
 to
strike
 in all occupations is part of people’s life. One of the main reasons can be that they have the
right
 to avoid
work
 if people are involved in some unfair situations
such
 as getting
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
 salary from their
work
 or too much
working
Replace the word
work
show examples
. Another situation can be that if the company did not pay for employees for a few months or pushed too many
jobs
 that they can not handle
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they should be against their company.
For example
, those many things make British citizens stop their
work
such
 as staff from train service and professors in university.
On the other hand
,
although
strike
Add an article
the strike
show examples
 is a basic
right
 for all individuals, I strongly believe that some
parts
 of
jobs
 should not stop their duties.
Firstly
, I think some essential
jobs
 should continue their
work
such
 as relevant other life
jobs
 like
fireman
Fix the agreement mistake
firemen
show examples
 or staff who
work
 in the hospital. It can be harmful to our lives if doctors and nurses stop their duty
as
Change preposition
of
show examples
 caring
emergent
Change preposition
for emergent
show examples
 patients. So, the government or authorities should encourage them to be responsible for their duty of occupations because they play a significantly vital role in our society. In conclusion, people can stop their job if they feel inferior,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 I am convinced that some
parts
 of an important job should not join the
strike
.
Submitted by kim88974150 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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