IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Cultures around the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative trend?

#cultures #world #trend
Different
cultures
 in the world are becoming more comparable. In my opinion from
this
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
 different
cultures
 are mixed
each
Change preposition
with each
show examples
 other
due to
 the
improved
Replace the word
improvement
show examples
 of social media.
This
maybe
Correct your spelling
may be
show examples
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 impact
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
culture
. There are many countries in the world
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they have different
cultures
 and traditions. these
cultures
 and traditions have evolved since ancient times and should not
change
. But representatives of one
culture
 can learn from other
cultures
 through several sources,
such
 as television, travel,
dancing
Correct word choice
and dancing
show examples
. Nowadays mainly teenagers
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
distribute
trends
such
 as
musics
Change the wording
music
kinds of music
pieces of music
show examples
 videos
trends
Correct word choice
and trends
show examples
 and others
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
used as
Add an article
a trend
show examples
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
.
That is
negative
Add an article
a negative
the negative
show examples
 aspect of
culture
.
For
instance
Add a comma
,instance
show examples
 many people attached social media
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
show examples
 TikTok YouTube and they are watching
trends
 and
repeat
Wrong verb form
repeating
show examples
 them. All nations do not forget their own history and
culture
 because of
holy
Correct article usage
the holy
show examples
. All nations have their art, music and food abilities to spread it.
That is
 why they
are try
Change the verb form
are trying
show examples
 to spread it to others and they are doing
this
 through
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Correct your spelling
Internet
show examples
. Latest searches show that if people forget
borders
Correct article usage
the borders
show examples
 of
culture
 they can dramatically decrease
income
Correct article usage
the income
show examples
 of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
.
Disadvantage
Add an article
The disadvantage
A disadvantage
show examples
 of
culture
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is forgotten if people who live in
country
Add an article
a country
show examples
 which
is have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 own
culture
used
Add a missing verb
are used
show examples
 to other
cultures
 they
change
 their mind
such
 as
change
eating
Correct pronoun usage
their eating
show examples
 habits, dancing and religion. Now
due to
 the spread of many
trends
 which is terrible many
cultures
 have become more similar In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 all
cultures
 must not be changed because if
cultures
 are changed our
also
 habits
change
 and extinction #sardor_28
Submitted by behzodmrzv on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: