In many countries, childhood obesity is a growing problem. What are the reasons for this and what can individuals and governments do to tackle the problem?

All over the ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
the issue of obesity is increasing, especially among
children
. In my opinion,
this
problem is a result of an unhealthy lifestyle and diet combined with
one
's everyday life, filled with online or indoor
activities
. The solution is support from both parents and the government for those young people. An unhealthy lifestyle is
one
of the main reasons for obesity in young people. Life without exercise and physical
activities
, combined with a poor diet is the most common view when it comes to
children
nowadays.
In other words
, parents are always busy and don't have the time to pay attention or cook for their
children
, resulting in kids eating junk food, and sweets, drinking carbonated drinks and sitting in
one
place all day long. Online
activities
such
as computer games and video games are gaining popularity
due to
the increased interest they cause in those young minds. Indoor things like reading, drawing, and even studying, are very important, but they should be mixed with more active things. For
Add an article
an
show examples
instant, if a child wants to play basketball or football the easiest way to do it is just to turn on the computer without the need to move, meet friends and communicate. I think that
one
possible solution is coming from parents as they should inspire their
children
to play different kinds of sports, jog, ride a bike or just play some baseball outside the house.
Moreover
, the government could add some extra physical
activities
in their educational program and encourage sports achievements. In conclusion, despite the modern tendency to play inside and live unhealthily, there are lots of ways to help a child to live a happy and healthy life.
Submitted by delulcheva on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: