IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that the best way to reduce crime is by using prison sentence To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #crime #prison #sentence
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently,crime rates have been increasing sharply all over the world and
this
Linking Words
 rate causes lots of environmental problems .
As a result
Linking Words
 , the public does not trust anyone because everyone can be a criminal on the streets . Yet , there is some disagreement as to whether the best way to punish
criminals
Use synonyms
 is behind bars or not .
While
Linking Words
 there are certainly valid arguments to the contrary , I personally believe that lockup is necessary for punishment .The reasons to support my view are as follows. First of all, it is an undeniable fact that lockup is the best option rather than
criminals
Use synonyms
 staying free in the cities . In Turkey ,
for instance
Linking Words
 , a murderer who walked with freedom killed his old wife and
that is
Linking Words
 why
people
Use synonyms
 want to collect them to send them to jail .
Moreover
Linking Words
, if the government does not punish organized crime , we can see more victims like that girl .
As a consequence
Linking Words
, the government have to collect
criminals
Use synonyms
 and give them a punishment who deserved that after that send them behind bars. Equally importantly , though, prison can make them better
people
Use synonyms
. Clearly , prisoners can maybe rehabilitate in jail to be better
people
Use synonyms
 and
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 rehabilitation, they can easily adapt to better life standards.
At the end
Linking Words
 of the punishment ,
people
Use synonyms
 trust the old prisoners who can achieve rehabilitation .
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , some gangland do not deserve jail because they did not a very big crime
such
Linking Words
 as rapist .
That is
Linking Words
 to say , these gangland who did petty crimes do not deserve the same sentence as rapists.
However
Linking Words
 , a slight sentence is necessary for them
such
Linking Words
 as social areas jobs .
To sum up
Linking Words
, I once again restate my view that prison is the best way to punish big
criminals
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as violent
criminals
Use synonyms
 .
Submitted by steam_ahmet2004 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: