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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given charts show changes in
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of
household
Use synonyms
 appliances from 1920 to 2019. The first chart represents
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of
households
Use synonyms
 that used a washing machine, refrigerator, and a vacuum cleaner over the hundred years.
According to
Linking Words
 the data,
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 used appliance in 1920 is the washing machine which was 40% of
households
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 the lowest used appliance is the refrigerator which was approximately 5% of
households
Use synonyms
.
Vacuum
Add an article
The vacuum
show examples
 cleaner has been used by 30% of
households
Use synonyms
. By 2019, both
vacuum
Add an article
the vacuum
show examples
 cleaner and the refrigerator has been used by an equal number of
households
Use synonyms
 which is 100%,
whereas
Linking Words
 the washing machine is used by approximately 75%. The second chart shows
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 of housework per week per
household
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the data presented in the chart, in 1920 the number of
hours
Use synonyms
 of housework per week per
household
Use synonyms
 is 50
hours
Use synonyms
. But it has gradually decreased to 10
hours
Use synonyms
 per week per
household
Use synonyms
 by 2019.
Submitted by sandaminiv99 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to, whereas".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words household, households, hours with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
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