IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that getting a degree from university is the best way to guarantee a good job, others believe that it would be better to go straight into work and get experience instead. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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There are many who consider that a
university
Use synonyms
degree
Use synonyms
 will ensure a high-quality job position.
However
Linking Words
, Others deem strong
work
Use synonyms
 background
is
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
best
Change the article
the best
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 way to get success in
Use synonyms
career
Correct article usage
a career
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
This
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this
Linking Words
 essay will argue both opinions and why, from my point of view, obtaining
bachelor's
Correct article usage
a bachelor's
show examples
degree
Use synonyms
 is the best option. Nowadays,
advance
Correct subject-verb agreement
advances
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of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 technology open huge opportunities to learn new knowledge in
short
Add an article
a short
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 time and many individuals choose
this
Linking Words
 way to
understanding
Change the verb form
understand
show examples
 a theory that they can apply in their
career
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.
Therefore
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, some people focus to build
Use synonyms
work
Correct article usage
a work
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 background
instead
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 of academic literacy. Since they believe that some
university
Use synonyms
 subjects are unnecessary in the actual
work
Use synonyms
 process.
Hence
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, they can try to gain competence from actual
experience
Use synonyms
.
For example
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, some
soft-skills
Correct your spelling
soft skills
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 like effectively managing time and people, communication, listening skills, emotional intelligence and so on. These capabilities often come from real job
experience
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 and employers appreciate
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this kind
Fix the agreement mistake
these kinds
show examples
 of skills.
In contrast
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, other
group
Change the wording
groups
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 believe obtaining a
university
Use synonyms
degree
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 perfect option find to permanent occupations. Because during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
undergraduate, students can learn some valuable knowledge from not only general subjects but a
university
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 atmosphere.
Such
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 as
communication
Replace the word
communicating
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new
Change preposition
with new
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 people, building strong networking, problem solving in different
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
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 of life and sphere and making focus and
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
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 in stressful
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 like
exam
Fix the agreement mistake
exams
show examples
 and
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last
Correct article usage
the last
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 but important one is
keep
Fix the infinitive
to keep
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a
Correct article usage
apply
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discipline during
students
Change noun form
students'
student's
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 years. All the time employers can find valuable
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of skills and strong knowledge specialization. In my opinion, I take these into consideration,
bachelor's
Correct article usage
a bachelor's
show examples
degree
Use synonyms
 is important to ensure high-quality occupations.
To sum up
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, Perhaps job
experience
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play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
 role in
Use synonyms
career
Correct article usage
a career
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 path but it is not enough
building
Change the verb form
to build
show examples
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
show examples
career
Use synonyms
 path. Personally, I advocate
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
obtaining
bachelor's
Correct article usage
a bachelor's
show examples
degree
Use synonyms
 before starting
work
Use synonyms
experience
Use synonyms
.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • higher education
  • specialized fields
  • job prospects
  • earning potential
  • formal education
  • networking opportunities
  • career advancement
  • practical skills
  • work environment
  • financial independence
  • high costs
  • skills and experience
  • formal education
  • prioritize
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