It is more important for school children to learn about local history than rorld history. Agree or disagree

Some people believe that students should consider national

history

Use synonyms

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

more important than international

history

Use synonyms

While

Linking Words

accpet

Correct your spelling

that learning local

history

Use synonyms

is very crucial, I

also

Linking Words

believe

world

Use synonyms

history

Use synonyms

is as important as local ones. On the one hand, it is true that learning past things of

Correct article usage

the

show examples

country where students are born is very important.

This

Linking Words

is because learning local

history

Use synonyms

can develop student's

gratefullness

Correct your spelling

gratefulness

gracefulness

and empathy. Through

history

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, students can understand the difficulty of

forefather

Fix the agreement mistake

forefathers

show examples

to regain

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

independence and freedom for their country. From

then

Linking Words

on, they usually feel grateful for what they have

such

Linking Words

as their liberty or their right to study.

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

,However

show examples

I believe

world

Use synonyms

history

Use synonyms

and local

history

Use synonyms

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

equally important. Through learning internation they have a wider knowledge about society.

This

Linking Words

is because

world

Use synonyms

history

Use synonyms

can help them learn more about

cultures

Correct article usage

the cultures

show examples

and customs of other nations.

In addition

Linking Words

, they will better understand the opportunities and challenges of

world

Use synonyms

events and the solutions that other countries offer to address those challenges. From that, they can learn and apply to their country in the future. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

Use synonyms

history

Add an article

the history

a history

show examples

of a nation's

studens

Correct your spelling

students

student

is very important to them. It seems to me that

world

Use synonyms

history

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

certains

Correct your spelling

certain

benefit

Change preposition

for

show examples

pupils.

hugoductam

Jun 9, 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

209 words

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It is more important for school children to learn about local history than rorld history. Agree or disagree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Technology is becoming increasingly prevalent in the world today. In the not too distant future, technology will completely replace the teacher in the classroom. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that the news media has become much more influential in people’s lives today and it is a negative development. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that doing multiple tasks at the same time can be beneficial. However, others are against this view. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Success is often measured by wealth and material belongings in modern times. Do you think wealth is the best measure of success? What, in your opinion, makes a person successful in life?