IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Whether or not a person achieves their aims in life is mostly related to luck. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#person #life #luck
My dreams are
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
how
Correct word choice
as
show examples
 Steve Whang, Why? Who is
this
 person? Steve Whang is
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
 president of the soccer team in Inter Mylan When he was
twenty six
Add a hyphen
twenty-six
show examples
 years old in Two thousand and
eighteent
Correct your spelling
eighteen
eighteenth
 he was elected president
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 Italy for the season in SERIE "A", I admire your personality and I
want
Correct your spelling
won't
show examples
Add the particle
to
show examples
be
he
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 same, with
your
Change the word
the
show examples
 same conviction, He studied in China
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and currently owns
seventyth
Correct your spelling
seventy
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the club in Europa, I want your same personality and maybe
began
Add the particle
tobegan
show examples
 have your ambitions and
proyects
Correct your spelling
projects
, for my the most characteristic that he has is his dedication and tolerant, when he manages finances to be able, to each
players
Change to a singular noun
player
show examples
 in
diferent
Correct your spelling
different
 seasons. Even being so young, I have the same years when he was born.
Currently
Add a comma
,Currently
show examples
 I have
a
Change the article
an
show examples
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 very regular how the
rest
Correct your spelling
best
show examples
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
 in the world, I would buy a
complety
Correct your spelling
complete
completely
 team in United Stated, my advantages and supports to information
me
Change the pronoun
I
show examples
 are the Finances books and New Notices,
also
 to preparative in the future how
understand
Add the particle
to understand
show examples
 all the people in
diferent
Correct your spelling
different
 moments or situations in the job, find mistakes and problems in the exact times when I'm each
players
Change to a singular noun
player
show examples
 in future seasons,
also
 I would
like
Add the particle
tolike
show examples
 live with my family in Europa to a good life
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because in Bolivia the streets are very dangerous and the Politics and current President are very
bads
Correct your spelling
bad
 in your
differents
Correct your spelling
different
show examples
 jobs, I rather a life with dreams and good experiences.
Submitted by ismael.222sr on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: