IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people are moving to cities to look for work. What are the problems does this cause? What are the possible solutions?

#people #cities #work
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This
Linking Words
 is
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
 era, 70% of people are working whether male or female So most individuals are shifting to urban
areas
Use synonyms
 to look for jobs. Yours is attracting
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
urban
areas
Use synonyms
 for employment.
This
Linking Words
 paragraph discusses both sides. Let's
tostart
Correct your spelling
start
 begin, Now almost every Individual are doing the job for bread and butter, But the best salaries and jobs are available in metropolitan
cities
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the rural area did not upgrade and there has no good source of employment
Although
Linking Words
, the salary average to less than in
cities
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, you moving to metropolis
cities
Use synonyms
 because of here
available
Replace the word
availability
show examples
 of all types of Facilities and
modern
Correct article usage
a modern
show examples
 lifestyle and they want
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
freedom from their parents and they want successful on
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
 feet.
Additionally
Linking Words
, some youngster study at universities with
a higher scores
Correct the article-noun agreement
a higher score
higher scores
show examples
 and they passed higher education and courses at the biggest universities but when they search for work in nearby their
areas
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as rural
areas
Use synonyms
 So they have not found the best jobs
according to
Linking Words
 their studies and capability or skills that's the one of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 They moving to metropolitan
cities
Use synonyms
 for bright future and other best opportunities.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, In the biggest
cities
Use synonyms
 very
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
villages
while
Linking Words
 here many rural and country yard
areas
Use synonyms
 are too
backwards
Change the word
backward
show examples
 and there have people's mentality is so
backwards
Change the word
backward
show examples
 Thats why the new generation wants facilities and government should awareness of farmers for
advanced
Add an article
the advanced
an advanced
show examples
technique
Fix the agreement mistake
techniques
show examples
 of farming so that they improve agriculture theme and youth aware to new machinery and farming technique
However
Linking Words
, they earn a good income.
For instance
Linking Words
,
cities
Use synonyms
 area are facing huge
crowd
Fix the agreement mistake
crowds
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as traffic, in public places
as well as
Linking Words
 facing many critical issues related to health. In conclusion, the government should awareness of people
such
Linking Words
 as in villages and country yard
areas
Use synonyms
 So what they do works in rural
areas
Use synonyms
,
Hence
Linking Words
, the new generation
aware
Add a missing verb
is aware
show examples
 of their area for new business ideas.
Submitted by PREETY  on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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