IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Why do some people prefer to live in big cities ? What problems do people usually face when the live in big cities ?

#people #cities #face #live
It is a fact that nowadays many people tend to live in big
cities
 . What makes big
cities
 the better places to live is that they have easy access to diverse facilities ,
such
 as ; job opportunities ,the best university,
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
 more money ,transportation and entertainment facilities .
For instance
 , in big
cities
, you are surrounded
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 more job
opportunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 so you can find a better job with
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
 salary
in contrast
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
 living in rural areas.
On the other hand
, living in megacities has their own drawbacks ,
however
, many people aren't aware of the negative aspects.There are several issues in big
cities
 which are a domino effect on population.
Such
 as; air
pollution
 , noise
pollution
 ,and traffic
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 .it's obvious the most significant one is air
pollution
.producing many vehicles and increasing daily commuting are the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 air
pollution
.
It's
Unnecessary verb
It
show examples
 all
begin
Wrong verb form
began
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
when many
dowellers
Correct your spelling
dwellers
jewellers
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 their own car
instead
 of public transportation. So , many cars in the street cause
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 high rate of carbon footprint and
also
 we are faced with traffic jams every day. All in all, living in big
cities
 has many benefits and negative aspects . I personally think everyone has their own opinion .
Submitted by samaramezanii17 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Use a clear structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Make sure to address all aspects of the topic in a balanced way.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the introduction and conclusion to provide a clearer and more engaging framework for the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: