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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bar chart below gives information about the percentage of the population living in urban areas in different parts of the world.

The bar chart below gives information about the percentage of the population living in urban areas in different parts of the world.
#bar #information #percentage #population #areas #parts #world
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The given bar graph gives data on the number of
people
Use synonyms
 living in urban
areas
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 different continents of the
world
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. The data are given for three different years, i.e. 1950, 2007 and projected for the year 2030. As is presented from the given data,
initially
Linking Words
 in 1950, on
an
Correct article usage
apply
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average 29%
people
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 of
the
Change preposition
in the
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world
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 lived in the urban area.
In
Change preposition
This
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this
Linking Words
 year, the highest
percentage
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 of the
population
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lived
Wrong verb form
living
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 in urban
areas
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were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 in North America which was 64%. In Africa and Asia, these percentages were
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
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 (15 and 17
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percentage
Replace the word
per cent
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 respectively). Half of the Europeans lived in urban
areas
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while
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
percentage
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 was 42% in Latin America. After 57 years in 2007, the
percentage
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 of urban area
population
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 reached
to
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apply
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49% in the
world
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. North America again had the highest
percentage
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 of the
population
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 who lived in urban
areas
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. The lowest
percentage
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 was in Africa (37%) and in other continents, the percentages were around 40 to 70. The
percentage
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 of the
population
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lived
Wrong verb form
living
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 in urban
areas
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 increased significantly in 2007 compared to the percentages
of
Change preposition
in
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 1950. It is projected that 60% of the
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world
Change noun form
world's
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population
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 would live in urban
areas
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 in the year 2030.
This
Linking Words
percentage
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 would be more than 80 in both of the American continents. In Europe,
this
Linking Words
 would increase to 78 and both in Asia and Africa around half of their
population
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 would live in urban
areas
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. In summary, the
percentage
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 of
people
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lived
Wrong verb form
living
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 in urban
areas
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 increased over time and more and more
people
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 would be living in urban
areas
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 over time.
Submitted by odod_aja on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, areas, world, percentage, population with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 12 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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