In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #message

In recent years, lots of

children

believe that they could achieve success by hard-working. In some countries, it is

the

Correct article usage

show examples

highly controversial topic that

children

exist

this

thinking. Many experts have different

view

Fix the agreement mistake

views

show examples

about

this

situation. In

this

essay, I will discuss both

positive

Correct article usage

the positive

show examples

and negative aspects of

this

topic. The biggest advantage is that

this

thinking gives

children

more power in two aspects of practice and

mind

. To start with,

this

idea

affect

Correct subject-verb agreement

affects

show examples

that they could practice of

children

. They usually want to try and attempt many things to make

dream

come true.

For example

, a student has

big

Add an article

a big

show examples

dream

Furthermore

, he

also

has

this

idea

and he always has more effort

Change preposition

into

show examples

studyly

Correct your spelling

studying

study

than others, because

this

idea

give

Change the verb form

gives

show examples

him enough energy in practice. What’s more,

this

thinking brings a huge effect

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show examples

children

’s

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

. A lot of

children

have

this

thinking

always

Correct word choice

and always

show examples

also

have

optimistic

Add an article

an optimistic

show examples

mind

Moreover

, they have enough

confident

Replace the word

confidence

show examples

to face

future

Correct article usage

the future

show examples

and hope alive.

However

, there are

also

many disadvantages to

children

have

Wrong verb form

having

show examples

this

thinking. The most significant drawback is that some

children

have

the

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over-optimistic

mind

after they believe

this

thinking.

In addition

, they always have some high-sounding

dream

For example

, a child who wants to become the king

that he

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

has

power

Add an article

the power

a power

show examples

Change preposition

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control

this

world.

Although

this

boy has sufficient hard, he

also

can’t achieve

this

impossible

dream

Furthermore

, another great disadvantage of thinking is that it has

deeply

Correct article usage

a deeply

show examples

bad effect

Change preposition

show examples

children

’s

mind

Fix the agreement mistake

minds

show examples

For instance

, a child has

Remove the article

apply

show examples

solid thinking that he can achieve goals through exertion, and yet he fails

that

Correct word choice

because

show examples

he has

not

Correct your spelling

show examples

dreams come true. It could harm

this

child’s

mind

Furthermore

, it

also

decreases the confidence of

children’

Correct your spelling

children mind

mind

. In conclusion, as can be seen from the points made in

this

essay, there are both advantages and disadvantages to

hold

Change the verb form

holding

show examples

children

this

Change preposition

to this

show examples

thinking. Whilst there are many advantages of

this

idea

, a significant negative impact would be

children

’s

mind

is injured.

Therefore

, I feel that

overall

the advantages would weigh the disadvantages.

Submitted by ysh424 on Sat Jun 10 2023

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

336 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important.Discuss both views and giv your opinion.

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some educationalists think that international exchange visits will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extent do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?