IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

While some people consider global warming to be the most pressing environmental problem that we have at the moment, others believe that deforestation has a more devastating impact on our world. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

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In today's ,
world
Use synonyms
 some people
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
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 that the
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
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 of
global's
Change noun form
global
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 temperatures is the major contributor to environmental catastrophes,
while
Linking Words
 others think that
forest
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 degradation rate plays a key role in the destructive impact on the
world
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. I certainly believe that
both
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 statements have an impact
to exacerbate
Change preposition
on exacerbating
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 the environmental disaster and I will examine
both
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 views in
this
Linking Words
 essay.
To begin
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 with, the increasing economic activities require a huge amount of energy,
thus
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 more fossil fuels are extracted
such
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 as oil, gas, and coal to be utilized for any purpose.
Furthermore
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, the major contributor of
carbon
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 emission was fossil fuel burnt that came from coal fire power plants,
forest
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 land clearing, and transportation.
As a result
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, many effects on living organisms because of the environmental catastrophe, as we have seen the weather is really unpredictable as the consequences of crop failures are
being occurred
Wrong verb form
occurring
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, deficiency of rainfall and even more the
world
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became
Wrong verb form
has become
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 warmer because of the
raising
Correct your spelling
rising
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global temperature.
For instance
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, many countries are really concerned about
this
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 and
create
Wrong verb form
have created
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 the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change to discuss how to overcome the potential threat in the future and create nationally determined contributions to reducing
carbon
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 dioxide released into the atmosphere.
On the other hand
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, illegal logging and land clearing
also
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 a significant
contributors
Correct the article-noun agreement
contributor
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 to making the situation is worse. The
forest
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 is usually associated
as
Correct word choice
with
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 the lungs of the
world
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 to catch
carbon
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 dioxide and
produces
Correct subject-verb agreement
produce
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 more oxygen.
However
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, the rate of deforestation in Borneo and Amazon's tropical
forest
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 is greater year by year, these cause
both
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 outdoors and indoors are low quality and sometimes lead to
emerge
Verb problem
apply
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respiratory disease and a decrease in environmental quality,
as a consequence
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 the life expectancy of human become low. To illustrate, the impact of
forest
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 areas makes some areas in Indonesia
such
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 as Samarinda, Balikpapan, and Pontianak have bad air quality which contains high particulate matter which makes many babies have lung cancer because of that substance. In conclusion, global countries are concerned about
both
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 issues and make a real contribution to the decrease of
carbon
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 emissions released into the atmosphere, I strongly believe that global warming and deforestation have a huge likelihood of disasters,
therefore
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 they need to take action to prevent deforestation and global catastrophe effects.

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Task Response
Provide a clear and specific thesis statement at the beginning of the essay to establish your position and the direction of your discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout the essay, and use cohesive devices to link your ideas together.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Greenhouse effect
  • Industrial emissions
  • Sea levels
  • Extreme weather events
  • Biodiversity
  • Carbon emissions
  • Renewable energy
  • Paris Climate Accord
  • Carbon cycle
  • Soil erosion
  • Water cycles
  • Carbon sequestration
  • Reforestation
  • Sustainable forest management
  • Indigenous communities
  • Localized impacts
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