IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Machines have replaced physical work in many industries. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#machines #work #industries
Travel
 has seen great progress from the past to the present.
Nevertheless
, statistics show that the crowd's interest in
travel
 is increasing rapidly every year. It is true that
travel
 means a lot to folk in our contemporary world. Today, the growing demand for
travel
due to
 globalization emphasizes its importance.
This
 issue of
travel
 is important for some nations, not important for others, it is left to their own personal opinions. The problem of our modern civilization is still those who think negatively about
travel
 On the one
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
travel
 it's good for children and humanity.
Moreover
, as some argue, the thoughts of people living in remote parts of the world prove that
travel
 is not important. One of the main reasons for
this
 is,
for example
, a different way of thinking and a different outlook. If the labour capacity of humanity increases, the development potential will
also
 increase
On the other hand
, I agree that we have several options in terms of alternatives because I believe that
travel
 is not only interesting for me but for everyone. A short experience shows that if we study
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
travel
, we should shed light on the path of adults and children with what we learn.
As a result
, education is priceless for the public. Ideally, the population need
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
travel
 to raise their name and fame globally.
Consequently
, it is a useful alternative for the development of the nation and important for unity.
Submitted by quliyeva799 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: