IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people that it is normal to spend money on music.Agree or Disagree ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays someone paying a
budget
Use synonyms
 for personal interest thing is not unusual.
on
Change preposition
In
show examples
this
Linking Words
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
 humans can
separate
Wrong verb form
be separated
show examples
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 two types.
Firstly
Linking Words
 is
budget
Use synonyms
 type
is
Verb problem
makes it
show examples
 hard to spend
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 anything
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 something that
necessary
Add a missing verb
is necessary
show examples
 for his or her
life
Use synonyms
 and
not
Add a missing verb
does not
show examples
 affect
life
Use synonyms
 quality.
Secondly
Linking Words
 is people who want to buy
any things
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
 as
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 want to
fulfillment
Replace the word
fulfil
show examples
 their
life
Use synonyms
 for increase personal
satisfy
Replace the word
satisfaction
show examples
 and in parallel support their idols in some way.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 enjoy
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
spending a lot of
money
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 my musician who is my favourite
for ever
Correct your spelling
forever
show examples
. In case
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people like to spend their
money
Use synonyms
 to purchase
favourite
Correct pronoun usage
their favourite
show examples
 music is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 benefit to
increasing
Add an article
the increasing
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 trend
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
entertainment
Add an article
the entertainment
show examples
 industry. Because
totally
Change the word
total
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 from items or music purchased will
use
Wrong verb form
be used
show examples
 to develop and create new songs in future for anyone who follows them and
Correct subject-verb agreement
supports
show examples
support
Correct pronoun usage
support them
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand, someone who conservates style will not enjoy
to pay
Change the verb form
paying
show examples
money
Use synonyms
 for something
that is
Linking Words
 not important
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their
life
Use synonyms
. one of the best reasons is
life
Use synonyms
 conditions for their own and priority for goods need to priority to
buy for
Verb problem
apply
show examples
sustain
budget
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
 they can not buy anything that they want because of
budget
Use synonyms
 limitations. But in other cases is hard to spend
money
Use synonyms
 because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they have some important objective to make it happen and their target must
a
Add a missing verb
be a
show examples
lot of
budget
Use synonyms
 to spend in future. In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 encourage
to
Correct pronoun usage
you to
show examples
 buy products that
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 love to support for developing entertainment industrial
grow up
Correct your spelling
growth
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 world will be better for
economy
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 development in the future.

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task response
Ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed in detail. Make sure to provide a more balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument with equal weight.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout the essay. Connect ideas more effectively to improve coherence and cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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