It is important for people to take risks, both in their Professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, some people believe that taking
risks
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
an important effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their
individual's
Change noun form
individual
show examples
lives. I certainly agree with
this
attitude. In
this
essay, I will give my own opinion with examples.
Firstly
, some folks prefer to take
risks
in their professional lives,especially workers because they want to escape from an average salary so these swarms show enthusiasm about taking gambles;
for example
, one of my close friends had been working for a company for 15 years,
then
he decided to do a risk in his professional
life
,
therefore
he resigned from that company and made his own business and now after 5 years not only has he his own company but he
also
has 20 employees.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
that person has have
good
Correct word choice
better
show examples
income and
high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
wealth than others. In the same way, some changes as a form of risk could give people the chance to escape from the humdrum
life
for a couple of hours even if these activities are really dangerous .
For instance
, I
keen
Add a missing verb
am keen
show examples
to ride
motorcycle
Add an article
a motorcycle
the motorcycle
show examples
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
high speed because not only do I become fresh but I
also
feel freedom when I ride
motorcycle
Add an article
a motorcycle
show examples
, so folks consider that
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
risks
in
special
Add an article
a special
show examples
part of their
life time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
lots of benefits than drawbacks. In conclusion, taking
risks
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
important for nations because they
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
attract
Wrong verb form
attracted
show examples
to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
this
attention in their professional experience to increase their salaries and in that way, they
do
Verb problem
take
show examples
risks
in normal
life
because it gives them
feel
Verb problem
apply
show examples
freedom and happiness
accordingly
.
Submitted by mehrdad.salahi2003 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Opportunities
  • Growth
  • Innovation
  • Challenges
  • Self-discovery
  • Resilience
  • Uncertainty
  • Consequences
  • Calculated risks
  • Stagnation
  • Regret
  • Comfort zone
  • Entrepreneurship
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Thriving
  • Failure
  • Mitigate
  • Reap the rewards
What to do next:
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