It is important for people to take risks, both in their Professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives

Nowadays, some people believe that taking

risks

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

an important effect

Change preposition

show examples

their

individual's

Change noun form

individual

show examples

lives. I certainly agree with

this

attitude. In

this

essay, I will give my own opinion with examples.

Firstly

, some folks prefer to take

risks

in their professional lives,especially workers because they want to escape from an average salary so these swarms show enthusiasm about taking gambles;

for example

, one of my close friends had been working for a company for 15 years,

then

he decided to do a risk in his professional

life

therefore

he resigned from that company and made his own business and now after 5 years not only has he his own company but he

also

has 20 employees.

Furthermore

Add a comma

,Furthermore

show examples

that person has have

good

Correct word choice

better

show examples

income and

high

Correct word choice

higher

show examples

wealth than others. In the same way, some changes as a form of risk could give people the chance to escape from the humdrum

life

for a couple of hours even if these activities are really dangerous .

For instance

, I

keen

Add a missing verb

am keen

show examples

to ride

motorcycle

Add an article

a motorcycle

the motorcycle

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

high speed because not only do I become fresh but I

also

feel freedom when I ride

motorcycle

Add an article

a motorcycle

show examples

, so folks consider that

take

Wrong verb form

taking

show examples

risks

special

Add an article

a special

show examples

part of their

life time

Correct your spelling

lifetime

show examples

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

lots of benefits than drawbacks. In conclusion, taking

risks

are

Change the verb form

show examples

important for nations because they

have

Verb problem

are

show examples

attract

Wrong verb form

attracted

show examples

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

this

attention in their professional experience to increase their salaries and in that way, they

Verb problem

take

show examples

risks

in normal

life

because it gives them

feel

Verb problem

apply

show examples

freedom and happiness

accordingly

Submitted by mehrdad.salahi2003 on Sat Jun 10 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people believe the the best way to learn English is to study with native teachers. What do you think about this opinion?
Today’s era has seen the growing demand for learning English in order to catch up with the development of modern society. There exists one notion that no other methods are as effective as learning with native teachers. My take on this is that, though being taught by the native yields several positive outcomes, it is not the greatest way to obtain English owing to these following rationales.
6
band
An English-speaking friend wants to spend a two-week holiday in your region and has written asking for information and advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: * Offer to find somewhere to stay * Give advice about what to do * Give information about what clothes to bring
I hope you and your family are well. I’m so excited that you will come and visit my city next week. So, I’m writing to you and give you some information about my city.
4.5
band
The government should ban smoking in all public places, even though this would restrict some other people’s freedoms. Do you agree or disagree
Smoking is one of the major problems facing people and governments around the world. Some people think that should government be stuck to ban smoking in all public place, even if that will conflict with the freedom of individuals. I would agree with this statement, the government should control the smoking inside public place.
4.5
band
In many countries, traditional dress and costumes are considered effective way of maintaining links with the past. How effective can traditional costumer be, in this sense? What other ways exit to help citizens connect with a country’s past?
Each country has special ancient dress, and this outfit can represent the culture and history of people in that country. In my perspective customs are one of significant item to convey history and culture of specific county, there are a number of procedures to transmit heritage to new generation. In this essay, a brief explanation of this approach and some possible alternative will be explained.
7
band
New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.
After the advent of technology, it is undeniable that it has considerably transformed the way people live and their leisure time including youngsters. The disputes regarding whether these transformations are beneficial or jeopardous to them are arising continuously. From my perspective, the drawbacks can hugely outweigh the advantages.

It is important for people to take risks, both in their Professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe the the best way to learn English is to study with native teachers. What do you think about this opinion?

An English-speaking friend wants to spend a two-week holiday in your region and has written asking for information and advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: * Offer to find somewhere to stay * Give advice about what to do * Give information about what clothes to bring

The government should ban smoking in all public places, even though this would restrict some other people’s freedoms. Do you agree or disagree

In many countries, traditional dress and costumes are considered effective way of maintaining links with the past. How effective can traditional costumer be, in this sense? What other ways exit to help citizens connect with a country’s past?

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.