IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Topic 8. Some say that the standard of behaviour among children has worsened and that this is their parents' fault; others say that schools are to blame. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#topic #say #behaviour #children #parents #fault #schools
Developing children are highly impressionable. Their attitude and behaviour are often a result of their surrounding environment. It is rather difficult to determine whether a
child
’s guardian or school possesses the most significant influence on their mannerism. The following essay will explain how each of the two parties has important roles in a youth’s life.
In addition
, I believe they are equally influential. Many people may agree that it is the primary job of the
parents
 to ensure that their
child
 is well disciplined. A
child
 spends a large majority of their life at home surrounded by their
parents
;
subsequently
, they tend to mirror the actions they witness.
For instance
, if an adult does not know how to self-regulate their unpleasant emotions and
as a result
 has frequent emotional outbursts, it would be no surprise when their offspring displays a similar lack in anger management. Undoubtedly, it is crucial for
parents
 to set good examples for children
as well as
 display a healthy mindset
coupled with
 correct behaviour.
However
, opponents may argue that schools, and the qualities they foster in their pupils, have a greater effect on how a
child
 behaves. Instructors who are kind, supportive and patient would ultimately inspire their learners to have a positive attitude.
This
also
 helps a
child
 to form a positive relationship with education.
In addition
, educational establishments, that are strict with their code of conduct, instill strong disciplinary values in their attendees. Unquestionably, teachers have a vital role in educating their pupils, in both school work and how to be model citizens.
To conclude
, children mirror the actions of their
parents
 as they view them as role models.
However
, they are heavily affected by their learning environment as well.
Therefore
, it is of paramount importance that guardians and educational establishments set correct examples and standards in order to ensure the development of healthy well-rounded individuals.
Submitted by mona.ayman88 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!