Some people believe that once a person becomes a criminal, he will always be a criminal. Do you agree with this statement?

There is a belief that who becomes an offender, will remain a lawbreaker for the rest of his life.
This
essay disagrees with the mentioned statement because prison's harsh
environmental
Replace the word
environment
show examples
changes many of them and,
furthermore
any individual deserves a
second
chance
.
To begin
with, a big percentage of criminals in jail tend to modify their criminality into an appropriate lifestyle.
In other words
, living in prison is extremely difficult because of its
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
and prisoners.
Besides
, they will suffer not only from hard work or from other criminals but
also
from there being nothing to do without reading books.
As a result
in order to not back to prisoners' lifestyles, after their release many of them try their best to be appropriate people or even helpful individuals to society.
For instance
,
according to
statistics,
last
year, from only Uzbekistan, 60 per cent of offenders converted their being into proper life.
Moreover
, the aforementioned statements are proof that any person deserves a
second
chance
. To elaborate, first of all, we are all human beings, which means we are all sinners,
secondly
, most offenders are young individuals, and
due to
their poor upbringing or by accident, they
do
Verb problem
commit
show examples
crimes. So, had they come birth to literate families or their parents
teach
Wrong verb form
taught
show examples
them to live properly in the community, they
also
would become faithful individuals. So if the parents didn't teach them, the government should give
second
chance
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and bring up them one more time since they may become exceedingly beneficial people for the country.
For example
, some people after their upbringing in government, namely in jail, have known their minds and doing their best in different occupations in order to prove that they deserve a
second
chance
.
To conclude
, given relevant facts, my personal opinion is that many criminals become good residents after jail since a prison's hard environment will change their negative behaviour fully and anyone deserves a
second
chance
.
Submitted by nadimanasimova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Improve the structure of the essay by organizing the ideas more coherently. Ensure a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively summarize the main points.
task achievement
Make sure to fully address the task prompt and use relevant examples to support your points. Ensure that your ideas are expressed clearly and comprehensively.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: