IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.
#process #sugar #cane
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The illustration demonstrates the manufacturing of how
sugar
Use synonyms
 is produced from
sugar
Use synonyms
 cane
step
Use synonyms
 by
step
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the whole process starts with harvesting
a growing
Correct the article-noun agreement
growing sugar canes
a growing sugar cane
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sugar
Use synonyms
 canes by
two way
Add a hyphen
two-way
show examples
 methods and ends with
sugar
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
being
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 ready for being sold to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shops and supermarkets and used by customers for many purposes. It is
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 7-stage, linear and man-made process. The first stage is when the growth of
sugar
Use synonyms
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
 is ready to be harvested.
However
Linking Words
, there are two types of harvesting. The first one is working with
an agricultural equipment
Remove the article
agricultural equipment
a piece of agricultural equipment
show examples
 which is made only for
used
Replace the word
use
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the farm and the second one is by a farmer. The
last
Linking Words
 method will be more
tired
Replace the word
tiring
show examples
 for every human.
After
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
step
Use synonyms
 is complete, it
is need
Change the verb form
needs
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 to be crushed to produce
juice
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
 it still
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 to purify
juice
Use synonyms
 with
limestone
Correct article usage
a limestone
show examples
 filter. The
step
Use synonyms
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, it is going to be safe and fresh for people to drink. The following
step
Use synonyms
 involves pouring
purifying
Add an article
the purifying
a purifying
show examples
 drink into a huge pot and
put
Wrong verb form
putting
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firewoods
Fix the agreement mistake
firewood
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 in the bottom of the pot to get heat for making
juice
Use synonyms
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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evaporate. The
step
Use synonyms
 when the
sugar
Use synonyms
 crystals are removed from
Use synonyms
juice
Correct article usage
the juice
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 to remain
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pure syrup is called
centrifuge
Add an article
a centrifuge
show examples
. Once the separating stage is finished, drying and cooling
sugar
Use synonyms
 is ready to be contributed to consumers through public shops.
Submitted by hninayewuttyi.h on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "after this".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, step, juice with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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