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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. Writing Task 1

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. Writing Task 1
#visitors #three #areas #european #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The graphs
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 destinations in three different place in
European
Correct article usage
a European
show examples
 country
bertween
Correct your spelling
between
 1987 and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of visitors in all places
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased in 2007 compared to
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1987 and there
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
Correct article usage
a fluctiave
show examples
fluctiave
Correct your spelling
fluctuate
 graph in those
years
Use synonyms
. The cost was the most popular place to
visit
Use synonyms
 in those
years
Use synonyms
 of
survey
Add an article
a survey
the survey
show examples
 which around 40
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 visited in 1987.
However
Linking Words
, in 1992, there was a slope with around 35
Use synonyms
thousands
Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 but after those
years
Use synonyms
, the number
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 until
double
Wrong verb form
doubled
show examples
 in 2007.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
mountains
Correct article usage
the mountains
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the least
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 place to
visit
Use synonyms
 with only 20
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
people
Use synonyms
went
Wrong verb form
going
show examples
 there and rose
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
steadily to 35
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
 twenty
years
Use synonyms
 later. As
describe
Change the form of the verb
described
show examples
 in the given chart, less than 10
thousands
Use synonyms
 tourist
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
visit
Use synonyms
 lakes in 1987 and the number
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased until reached its
peaked
Replace the word
peak
show examples
 in 2002 which was more than 75
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
. Though, 5
years
Use synonyms
 later the total tourist were fall
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 50
Use synonyms
thousands
Change to singular
thousand
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who
visit
Use synonyms
 lakes.
Submitted by henypurwantisl94 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, visit, thousands, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fluctuate
  • Significant
  • Trends
  • Comparative analysis
  • Peak
  • Trough
  • Growth
  • Decline
  • Steady
  • Surge
  • Plummet
  • Consistency
  • Highlight
  • Reinforce
  • Data representation
  • Time frame
  • Subject matter
  • Overseas visitors
  • Tourism promotion
  • Transportation
  • Accommodation facilities
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