IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Many people living in cities these days do not get enough physical exercise.What are the causes of this? What are some possible solutions?

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It is true that more
people
Use synonyms
 living in cities and they are not doing regular exercise.There are a variety of possible reasons for
this
Linking Words
, but steps can definitely be taken to tackle the problem. There are two main causes of
this
Linking Words
 problem.The main cause is that individuals are more modern ways of living.
This
Linking Words
 is because today we stay in the 21st century, so
this
Linking Words
 century is full of technology. If we compare with the previous period, in the past
people
Use synonyms
 were well-liked to go out to meet with each other, but now it is more common that online chat with friends or even siblings.The majority of
people
Use synonyms
 choose the more passive lifestyle. Another cause is that most accommodations are smaller in the cities and many
people
Use synonyms
 live in flats.
Hence
Linking Words
, they do not have a big house to run or do other exercises. There are several solutions to tackle the problem.First
of
Correct pronoun usage
allof
show examples
 ,
all
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
 should limit or ban the use of robots for any household chores. Because they live in small and cosy houses, that's why they have more time for doing homework, resulting in it will be more impact on their health. Second
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 government should attract more
people
Use synonyms
 to walk or run
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
marathons.
This
Linking Words
 is because more
people
Use synonyms
 tend to win for their actions. In conclusion, many individuals live in small apartments where they can not do
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 and exercise and
this
Linking Words
 can be fixed by
people
Use synonyms
, taking up the burden of improving their own lives.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • desk-bound jobs
  • fast-paced urban life
  • conveniences
  • physical exertion
  • barrier
  • densely populated
  • pollution
  • safety concerns
  • urban planning
  • pedestrian areas
  • cycle lanes
  • accessible
  • workplace wellness programs
  • subsidize
  • financial barriers
  • public awareness
  • incorporate
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