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Band 2.5

Nowadays many mothers take care of the family and don’t go out to work. Some people believe they should be given salaries by the government. 🔸Do you agree or disagree?

#mothers #care #don’t #work #people #salaries #government #🔸do
There is no doubt about the significant role that
mothers
 play in
this
 world, and how workers moms struggle nowadays to balance between their kids and work,
whereas
, other moms chose to stay at home and take care of their babies, some people opine they should be given salaries by the government
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because she can not go out to work and leave her kids. In my opinion, I totally agree with
this
 concept, in
this
 essay, I would like to elaborate more on
this
 and why I agree with
this
 idea.
to begin
 with,
mothers
 around the world have many responsibilities on their
sholders
Correct your spelling
shoulders
, especially when it comes to worker's
mothers
, some worker's
mothers
 had to quit their jobs because they have to take care of their children,
therefore
, set a monthly salary it is a necessity for any worker mother who has a child.
on the other hand
, if
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 applies
this
 concept it has to be under
Correct your spelling
conditions
condetions
Correct your spelling
conditions
 and terms, to manage
this
 situation,
such
 as,
set
Wrong verb form
setting
show examples
 a salary for
mother
Correct article usage
a mother
show examples
 who has a child for 3 years after that she can
Submitted by reemalbarhomi on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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