Nowadays many mothers take care of the family and don’t go out to work. Some people believe they should be given salaries by the government. 🔸Do you agree or disagree?

#mothers #care #don’t #work #people #salaries #government #🔸do

There is no doubt about the significant role that

mothers

play in

this

world, and how workers moms struggle nowadays to balance between their kids and work,

whereas

, other moms chose to stay at home and take care of their babies, some people opine they should be given salaries by the government

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because she can not go out to work and leave her kids. In my opinion, I totally agree with

this

concept, in

this

essay, I would like to elaborate more on

this

and why I agree with

this

idea.

to begin

with,

mothers

around the world have many responsibilities on their

sholders

Correct your spelling

shoulders

, especially when it comes to worker's

mothers

, some worker's

mothers

had to quit their jobs because they have to take care of their children,

therefore

, set a monthly salary it is a necessity for any worker mother who has a child.

on the other hand

, if

government

Add an article

the government

show examples

applies

this

concept it has to be under

Correct your spelling

conditions

condetions

Correct your spelling

conditions

and terms, to manage

this

situation,

such

as,

set

Wrong verb form

setting

show examples

a salary for

mother

Correct article usage

a mother

show examples

who has a child for 3 years after that she can

Submitted by reemalbarhomi on Sun Jun 11 2023

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

184 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays many mothers take care of the family and don’t go out to work. Some people believe they should be given salaries by the government. 🔸Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people think the main purpose of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many young people nowadays choose to remain unmarried. Why are people doing this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people get into debt by buying thing they do not need and cannot afford. What is the reason for this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Most high level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?