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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below gives information about the price of bananas in four countries between 1994 and 2004

The graph below gives information about the price of bananas in four countries between 1994 and 2004
#information #price #bananas #four #countries
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The bananas
price
Use synonyms
 in Japan, France, Germany, and the USA from 1994 to 2004
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 by the picture, accounted
per
Change preposition
for per
show examples
kilogram
Use synonyms
 with
USD
Use synonyms
 currency. At
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
first glance, Japan had the highest
price
Use synonyms
 almost in all
periode
Correct your spelling
periods
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, bananas in the USA was the cheapest
almost
Change preposition
for almost
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all period as well. The cost of
Banana
Fix the agreement mistake
Bananas
show examples
 in Japan reached
the
Change the word
its
show examples
 peak in 1995
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 roughly 3
USD
Use synonyms
 per
kilogram
Use synonyms
. In the next year, the
price
Use synonyms
 went down to approximately 2
USD
Use synonyms
 per
kilogram
Use synonyms
 until 2000. Banana
Use synonyms
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 fell again in the next year until 1.70
USD
Use synonyms
 per
kilogram
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but rose progressively in the following period. In the
last
Linking Words
 written year, the cost was
pricesily
Correct your spelling
precisely
 2.50
USD
Use synonyms
 per
kilogram
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the lowest banana cost was in the USA in 1994 which
less
Add a missing verb
was less
show examples
 than 1
USD
Use synonyms
 per
kilogram
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
price
Use synonyms
 suddenly rose in 1995 and fluctuated until 1999. After 1999, the data stabled
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 around 1,10
USD
Use synonyms
 per
kilogram
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the rest of time.
Submitted by sakinah.snr on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words price, kilogram, usd with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • price fluctuation
  • steady increase/decrease
  • significant rise/drop
  • trend
  • noticeable
  • comparison
  • contrast
  • highest
  • lowest
  • throughout the period
  • stable
  • volatile
  • potential reasons
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