ln some counfries, fosf food resfouronfs ond supermorkefs give money lo schools |o promote lheir producfs. Do you lhink fhis is o posilive or negolive develoPment?

#ln #counfries #fosf #food #resfouronfs #ond #supermorkefs #money #schools #|o #lheir #producfs #lhink #fhis #posilive #negolive #development

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ln the highly competitive era of today, marketers

such

Linking Words

as restaurants and supermarkets have realized the marketing opportunity offered by

schools

Use synonyms

and so are giving money to

schools

Use synonyms

. Even though the administrators of

schools

Use synonyms

are using that money to raise funds for

school

Use synonyms

activities,

this

Linking Words

is definitely disadvantageous for

school

Use synonyms

children

Use synonyms

To begin

Linking Words

with, adverts

Change preposition

for

show examples

fast foods and their availability within

school

Use synonyms

premises would help to develop

children

Use synonyms

's taste for

such

Linking Words

foods.

This

Linking Words

can increase problems like obesity, which in turn is the root cause of many other health issues among

children

Use synonyms

. As it is,

children

Use synonyms

today have sedentary lifestyles, which makes it imperative that healthier food options should be made available to them. The welfare of students should be the top priority of

schools

Use synonyms

and they should not fall in the bait of these companies for monetary benefits.

Secondly

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

commercial intrusions within the academic environment can promote consumerism.

For instance

Linking Words

, if

schools

Use synonyms

promote advertisements of any products like toys or computer games from supermarkets through educational materials, billboards or

school

Use synonyms

television,

children

Use synonyms

would think that they have the approval of teachers and

school

Use synonyms

authorities.

Consequently

Linking Words

, these vulnerable

children

Use synonyms

pester their parents to buy those products, which can upset the family budget.

This

Linking Words

is a very vivid example of how

commercialization

Add an article

the commercialization

show examples

schools

Use synonyms

can promote materialism in

children

Use synonyms

. Supporters of

such

Linking Words

practices claim that the money

such

Linking Words

companies give for promoting their products inside the campus, helps financially-strapped

schools

Use synonyms

to buy library books or improve sports facilities. They claim that

children

Use synonyms

benefit from the additional resources and facilities that

schools

Use synonyms

can afford

due to

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

funding. What they fail to see is that commercial intrusions are already present in

children

Use synonyms

's lives these days and there is no scope for more.

To sum up

Linking Words

, it is definitely a negative development to use

school

Use synonyms

Submitted by ekjotkaur882 on Mon Jun 12 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

304 words

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ln some counfries, fosf food resfouronfs ond supermorkefs give money lo schools |o promote lheir producfs. Do you lhink fhis is o posilive or negolive develoPment?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays more and more people have access to the Internet, but the constant availability of any information worsens people’s memory and critical thinking skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people say governments should give priority to health care, while others believe taxpayers' money should be spent on other important priorities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that industrial growth is necessary to solve poverty, but some other people argue that industrial growth is creating environmental problems and it should be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?