In todays world, people spend a lot of money on appearance because they want to look younger. Why does this happen? Do you think this is a positive or negative development

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Nowadays, people are much more concerned about their age and want to look younger. I believe
this
is a negative development as it undermines the natural look and
also
drains a person financially.
This
essay will support the aforementioned points and elaborate on them in the following paragraphs. People are influenced by actors and actresses who undergo plastic surgery treatments to look attractive, but they don't see that those models are paid for their looks. Models spend
money
on their
appearance
because of their profession,
whereas
individuals who undergo these surgeries to transform their looks to resemble famous celebrities are wasting their
money
and sometimes damaging their physical
appearance
.
For instance
, a woman became famous for wanting to look like Angelina Jolie and underwent plastic surgery, which permanently damaged her looks.
This
example illustrates why
money
spent on altering
appearance
is a negative development.
Additionally
,
this
not only drains one financially but
also
brings health problems. There are several side effects to these treatments, and people who undergo these procedures often suffer from various skin allergies that could lead to cancer.
For example
, hair transplants involve using a needle to add hair to the forehead, and sometimes the force of the needle is so great that it causes a person to suffer from
brain
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a brain
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hemorrhage
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haemorrhage
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.
Therefore
, it does not seem worth it to put one's life at risk to look physically attractive.
To conclude
, one should be satisfied with how they appear and should not spend
money
to enhance their
appearance
.
Instead
, they should spend it on other activities that bring mental peace and joy.
Submitted by mannadarshpal13 on

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task achievement
Ensure a more balanced discussion by acknowledging and briefly discussing counterarguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Proofread the essay to avoid small errors and improve sentence variety for better readability.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states the writer's position and outlines what the essay will discuss.
task achievement
Clear and relevant examples are provided to support the main points.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the writer's position.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Youthful appearance
  • Societal norms
  • Media influence
  • Self-esteem
  • Confidence
  • Professional competition
  • Health and wellness
  • Cosmetic enhancements
  • Medical technology
  • Anti-aging products
  • Invest in appearance
  • Beauty standards
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