IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, governments are encouraging industries and businesses to move out of the cities and into regional areas. Do you think the advantages outweight the disadvantages?

#countries #governments #industries #businesses #move #cities #areas #outweight
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Several countries separate their industrial
area
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 housing
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.
Industrial
Add an article
The industrial
show examples
area
 consists
plenty
Change preposition
of plenty
show examples
 of big companies,
while
housing
Correct article usage
the housing
show examples
area
 is the main
city
, the place
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 people spend their time with their relatives and others. I strongly believe that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 pushing the factories to move to the industrial
area
 and cleaning up the
city
 from industrial activity will get
abundance
Add an article
an abundance
show examples
 of advantages rather than negative aspects.
This
 essay will
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 two notions.
First,
cleaning up a
city
 from the factories will progressively
decreases
Change the verb form
decrease
show examples
 the crowd of the
city
, which
is have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
direct
Add an article
a direct
show examples
 relation with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
traffic jam, air pollution, and voice pollution. It can be clearly seen that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
business vehicles make cities more polluted, noisy, and
crowd
Wrong verb form
crowded
show examples
.
For instance
, there is a concrete company in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
city
 centre. The big trucks of
this
 company will come and go in the town main road bringing big concretes.
This
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
will disrupt the
city
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 many aspects.
Second,
states ideally build a lot of
beatiful
Correct your spelling
beautiful
 and useful public
facilities
 in the
city
 rather than industrial
facilities
. Building factories will reduce several
area
Change to a plural noun
areas
show examples
 that
supposed
Add a missing verb
are supposed
show examples
 to
used
Add a missing verb
be used
show examples
 to build
facilities
 for the people,
such
 as
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
,
stadium
Fix the agreement mistake
stadiums
show examples
,
city
square
Fix the agreement mistake
squares
show examples
,
market
Fix the agreement mistake
markets
show examples
,
museum
Fix the agreement mistake
museums
show examples
, meeting
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
,
religion
Replace the word
religious
show examples
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
, and
highway
Fix the agreement mistake
highways
show examples
. Governments and their societies have to feel free to build their
facilities
 without
afraid
Add a missing verb
being afraid
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 presence of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
big industry.
To sum up
, the positive aspects of separate businesses
area
 from the town totally
outweight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
outweighs
 the disadvantages.
This
 is not only because business areas will disturb the
lifehood
Correct your spelling
livelihood
likelihood
 in a
city
, but
also
 cut the land that should
used
Change the verb form
be used
use
show examples
 to create plenty of public
facilities
.
Submitted by sakinah.snr on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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