IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. what are the reasons? What are the solutions to make people drink less?

#people #drinks #drink
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Today,
people
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 consume more and more
beverages
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 with added
sugar
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.
This
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 essay will analyze the root causes of
this
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 trend and
then
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 suggest remedies to make fewer
people
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 ingest sugary
drinks
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. There are two main reasons why
people
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 have a tendency to
drink
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 sugary
beverages
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. One main cause of
this
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 trend is that sweetened
beverages
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 might provide energy for studying and working more effectively. Take students as an example, in the breaks, they often buy soft
drinks
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 which contain minerals and water in order to supply to their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
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 after a
long-hard
Correct your spelling
long hard
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 time. Today, most students have a high frequency of learning that requires additional energy, so consuming soft
drinks
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 possibly becomes more and more popular.
Furthermore
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,
drinks
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 with
sugar
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 have a cheap price and stimulate the taste buds.
This
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 is so ideal for students or workers who could not spend too much money on drinking to buy
this
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drink
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 to try. There are a few ways that could be done to reduce the number of
people
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consume
Correct pronoun usage
who consume
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 soft
drinks
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. First of
all
Add a comma
,all
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 is
rising
Correct article usage
the rising
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 awareness community. Because
beverages
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 with sweetness
is
Change the verb form
are
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 not good for health to
drink
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 in the daily life.
Therefore
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, they should control their
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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 clearly by rarely drinking
beverages
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 with sweeteners.
Moreover
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, the government could do something to reduce the consumption of soft
drinks
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such
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 as increasing taxes and so on.
This
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 might result in limiting
overall
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 soft
drink
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 intake.
Due to
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 tax
increase
Fix the agreement mistake
increases
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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sugar
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-laden
drinks
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 might raise product
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
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.
This
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 leads to
this
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drink
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 which will not be as popular as before. In conclusion,
due to
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 providing energy and the cheap cost,
drinks
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 with
sugar
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 are consumed excessively. The consumption of
sugar
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 among consumers should be reduced and
this
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 requires both private citizens and governmental action
Submitted by joyce.ta213 on

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