People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. what are the reasons? What are the solutions to make people drink less?

#people #drinks #drink

Today,

people

consume more and more

beverages

with added

sugar

This

essay will analyze the root causes of

this

trend and

then

suggest remedies to make fewer

people

ingest sugary

drinks

. There are two main reasons why

people

have a tendency to

drink

sugary

beverages

. One main cause of

this

trend is that sweetened

beverages

might provide energy for studying and working more effectively. Take students as an example, in the breaks, they often buy soft

drinks

which contain minerals and water in order to supply to their

body

Fix the agreement mistake

bodies

show examples

after a

long-hard

Correct your spelling

long hard

show examples

time. Today, most students have a high frequency of learning that requires additional energy, so consuming soft

drinks

possibly becomes more and more popular.

Furthermore

drinks

with

sugar

have a cheap price and stimulate the taste buds.

This

is so ideal for students or workers who could not spend too much money on drinking to buy

this

drink

to try. There are a few ways that could be done to reduce the number of

people

consume

Correct pronoun usage

who consume

show examples

soft

drinks

. First of

all

Add a comma

,all

show examples

rising

Correct article usage

the rising

show examples

awareness community. Because

beverages

with sweetness

Change the verb form

are

show examples

not good for health to

drink

in the daily life.

Therefore

, they should control their

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

show examples

clearly by rarely drinking

beverages

with sweeteners.

Moreover

, the government could do something to reduce the consumption of soft

drinks

such

as increasing taxes and so on.

This

might result in limiting

overall

soft

drink

intake.

Due to

tax

increase

Fix the agreement mistake

increases

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sugar

-laden

drinks

might raise product

cost

Fix the agreement mistake

costs

show examples

This

leads to

this

drink

which will not be as popular as before. In conclusion,

due to

providing energy and the cheap cost,

drinks

with

sugar

are consumed excessively. The consumption of

sugar

among consumers should be reduced and

this

requires both private citizens and governmental action

Submitted by joyce.ta213 on Mon Jun 12 2023

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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