Some people think that mobile phones are harmful for children ,while other disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#people #phones #children

Nowadays,

cell

phones

have become urgent devices for adults and

children

. Whether to give mobile

phones

kids

or not, has become a controversial issue among parents. So, some people believe that

cell

phones

have a harmful effect on

kids

while

others think

that is

not true and depends on the way of the usage of

phones

. In

this

essay, I will discuss both views and

then

give my opinion about the topic. On one hand, there are some people, who say that giving

cell

phones

kids

and teenagers may cause harmful damage to their mental and physical health. They easily can get distracted and

then

could not focus on their essential and important work during the day. Plus, their brains have been filled with unnecessary information that they do not need to know about them at

this

age.

On the other hand

, the opponents believe that having smartphones these days is necessary for

children

and teenagers because there are so many useful applications, videos, video games, and websites that can help them to learn new things and

this

was unavoidable. In my opinion, the only way to protect

kids

and teenagers from the dangers of social networks and reduce the harms of smartphones is aware of them. If parents want their

children

to stay safe, they should give them awareness. In conclusion,

although

cell

phones

may have a harmful impact on

kids

, I think the benefits are more.

Children

should be aware of dangers and have their own control to use mobile

phones

Submitted by samiraazizzadeh93 on Mon Jun 12 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

255 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

excessive screen time
health problems
eye strain
poor posture
disrupted sleep patterns
inappropriate content
addiction
reliance
impair
social skills
educational tools
digital literacy
mitigated
parental guidance
safeguards
responsible use
monitored
development
benefits
risks

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Some people think that mobile phones are harmful for children ,while other disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

Fully explain your ideas

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