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Band 2.5

Some people think there should be free health care for all people but others disagree. Discuss both sides.

#people #health #care
Many
people
 believe that everyone should have free access to
health
care
while
 others disagree with
this
 idea. The first group recognise how free medical
tretaments
Correct your spelling
treatments
treatment
 could improve
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 quality lives
while
 others that think that everything should be private in order to have more quality
health
care
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
. It is often thought that having more
accesibility
Correct your spelling
accessibility
 to
health
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
care
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
as well as
 free medicines will improve
peoples
Change noun form
people's
show examples
health
as a result
 of developing wealthier societies. As
Correct article usage
a concequence
show examples
concequence
Correct your spelling
consequence
 is
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
believed
this
 will avoid the collapse of some hospitals that are needed to
teat
Correct your spelling
treat
show examples
 major injuries.
For example
, if an elder person with
a general flu
Change the article
the general flu
general flu
show examples
 takes
takes
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
the right and free medication and follows the
doctors
Change to a genitive case
doctor's
doctors'
show examples
 advice at
first,
this
 might avoid the
hospitalitzation
Correct your spelling
hospitalisation
 of a
pacient
Correct your spelling
patient
 that didn't
had
Change the verb form
have
show examples
acces
Correct your spelling
access
 to general public
health
.
On the other
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
people
also
 support that the
privatitzation
Correct your spelling
privatisation
 of those institutions would be
benefitial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the
efficency
Correct your spelling
efficiency
 of
health
care
 professionals. Is it said that
this
 would allow
dorctors
Correct your spelling
doctors
 to dedicate more time during the diagnosing process, avoiding
this
 way
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
 any mistake caused by being overloaded with many
patiens
Correct your spelling
patients
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
This
 can be seen
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
 when services are for free
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 when
people
 tend to overuse
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 causing the
health
 professional a rush on diagnosing medicines
instead
 of not focusing on the original cause of the patient.
Submitted by celinedoultremontt on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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