IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

The two pictures below represent different changes in Science park.

#two #pictures #changes #science #park
The given two pictures illustrate various changes and developments of have been made in
science
Correct article usage
the science
show examples
park
 from 2008
since
Change preposition
to
show examples
today
.
Overall
, there are several significant changes in the map namely remaining buildings replacing and extending
as a result
 of
renovating
Replace the word
renovation
show examples
 of
science
Correct article usage
the science
show examples
park
 over the years. Turning to the details,in the
science
park
 we can see remaining or unchanged buildings
such
 as business units which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 located
western
Replace the word
west
show examples
 of the
park
 and woodland
laying
Correct your spelling
lying
show examples
south west
Add a hyphen
south-west
show examples
 of the
park
 and
also
 offices.
By contrast
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
today
 research and development have been built
place
Add an article
a place
the place
show examples
 of
gransland
Correct your spelling
grassland
grasslands
 of place in 2008.
During
Change preposition
For
show examples
 several years the place of the reception is sited in the northeast of the
science
park
however
,
today
 there is a university hub,
moreover
instead
 of
innovation
Correct article usage
an innovation
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 which is built
today
,in 2008 IT
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 was constructed. Over several years,only cyber security and carpark
were remained
Change to the active voice
remained
have remained
show examples
 stable though their size has been changed. When it comes to the new buildings,one of them is
station
Correct article usage
the station
show examples
 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is built
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
 in
Add an article
the south
show examples
south east
Add a hyphen
south-east
show examples
 of the
park
 and
also
cycle
Correct article usage
a cycle
show examples
 path.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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