Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

It is true that these days more youngsters use their daily time on their cell phones. There are some reasons why

this

is happening, and I believe it is a negative development. There are several reasons why teens love to use their phones during the day. In the first place, many adolescents who have been accessing the internet for a period of time find it interesting to

access

the internet, which is accessible from their mobile phones. The activities can vary, from open social media to attending Zoom meeting classes.

As a result

, they will focus more on their screen rather than their surroundings.

In addition

, many of their friends

also

use several applications that provide easier communication than offline,

such

as WhatsApp, so that people do not need to go out to socialize with others.

Therefore

, they can have more borderless friends these days.

On the other hand

, I agree that the drawbacks of the enhancement of technology can lead to serious danger.

Firstly

, people who used to communicate on an online basis will have a lack of communication skills in real life.

For instance

, they will be reluctant to open the discussion in a real meeting because they feel inconvenient.

Consequently

, they will be indifferent when meeting new people in real cases.

Secondly

, if children can freely

access

the outside world through the internet, they will find many things that are not proper for their ages.

Consequently

, parents should provide strict parental guidance in every children’s connection. In conclusion, there are several cases why pupils love to spend their time on screen, and I believe it is a bad development. There are numerous backgrounds for

this

such

access

to social media accounts and disobeying their surroundings, which lead to bad communication skills in real life and having boundless

access

. Given

this

situation, it is recommended that parents should understand a proper guide to teach their children how to utilize the current technology in real life.

Submitted by khairanaizzati on Mon Jun 12 2023

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

328 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

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Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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