Some believe that modern technology is increasing the gap between rich and poor people, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It
Correct pronoun usage
There
show examples
is no doubt that modern
technology
has a profound impact on our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
. Modern
technology
makes our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
easier
as well as
more productive. Some
people
believe that modern
technology
diminishes the gap between rich and poor
people
,
however
, other
people
believe that the huge differences between them are increased
as a result
of technological advancements. In the following, we will draw attention to both sides and
then
I will show why I totally agree with the first argument.
First,
technology
changes every aspect of our
life
including education and health. Nowadays, the poor population can access tremendous free educational resources using the Internet.
Hence
,more and more individuals would be educated and
hence
can get a better job or salary. In
this
way, poor a person can become rich if he can master and be an expert in a specific field. The Internet makes the education process available for all society and
thus
would decrease the hole between them.
Secondly
,
technology
provides a great platform for meetings and chatting with
people
around the world.
People
around the world can talk,speak, and discuss with each other regardless if they are rich or poor. Turning to the negative side,
technology
could enhance dramatically the
life
of a wealthy society. Wealthy communities have the money to buy advanced appliances
such
as smart houses and cars.
Technology
in
this
case would increase the difference between them. In
this
case, the
people
would touch the importance of money in their
life
and
therefore
the poor society would touch the difference between the convenient
life
of the rich community and the complex
life
of the poor community.
To sum up
, there are many advantages of
technology
for poor
people
,
however
, there are some disadvantages.
However
, I totally agree that technological developments reduce the gap between
people
because it provides many ways for
people
to educate and
thus
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
gain a job with a higher salary.
Submitted by fmalquran112 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The content of the essay addressed the prompt, but the clear position on the issue wasn't maintained throughout the essay.
coherence and cohesion
The essay had a clear introduction and conclusion. However, the development of the main points lacked coherence and structure, leading to confusion.
lexical resource
The range of vocabulary is adequate, but the imprecise use of words and limited variety affected the clarity and precision of expression.
grammatical range
The essay included a mix of simple and complex sentences, but there were frequent errors in sentence structure and word choice.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: