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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart gives information about the comparison of visitors going to distinct museums in London from June to October.

The bar chart gives information about the comparison of visitors going to distinct museums in London from June to October.
The bar chart gives information about the comparison of
visitors
Use synonyms
 going to distinct
museums
Use synonyms
 in London from June to October.
Overall
Linking Words
, in terms of the number of
people
Use synonyms
 who go to the
museum
Use synonyms
, the
British
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 was the first-choice destination
while
Linking Words
 the National
Museum
Use synonyms
 had the least
visitors
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 August was the best time to visit
among
Change preposition
apply
show examples
5
Correct article usage
the 5
show examples
research months for all 4
museums
Use synonyms
. Starting in June, the figure for
Use synonyms
museum goers
Add a hyphen
museum-goers
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 of the History,
British
Use synonyms
 and Science
Museum
Use synonyms
 were relatively akin with just over 400,000
people
Use synonyms
, which was twice as many as that of the National
Museum
Use synonyms
. Over the 2-month period, all
museums
Use synonyms
 witnessed a slight decrease in the number of
people
Use synonyms
 visiting them before the
British
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
Museum’s
Use synonyms
, History
Use synonyms
Museum’s
Use synonyms
 and National
Use synonyms
Museum’s
Use synonyms
 rate reached its peak at more than 700000, 600000 and just over 300000 respectively.
By contrast
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the figure for the Science
Use synonyms
Museum’s
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 saw a considerable increase to 500,000
people
Use synonyms
 in September, a downward trend was seen in the number of
people
Use synonyms
 going to the 3 remaining
museums
Use synonyms
. Unfortunately,
although
Linking Words
 4
museums
Use synonyms
 witnessed a significant decline, the
British
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 still had nearly twice as many
visitors
Use synonyms
 as that of the National
Museum
Use synonyms
, which was the
least
Correct your spelling
last
show examples
 choice
at the end
Linking Words
 of the time frame.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, museums, people, museum, british, museum’s with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Bar chart
  • Visitations
  • Trends
  • Peak season
  • Popularity
  • Patterns
  • Outliers
  • Surge
  • Temporary exhibitions
  • Demographics
  • Attract
  • Museum tour
  • Cultural attraction
  • Historical exhibits
  • Tourist influx
  • Visitor statistics
  • Monthly comparison
  • Seasonal variation
  • Cultural significance
  • Footfall
  • Exhibit appeal
  • Museum's profile
  • Visitor engagement
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