The governments should spend money in promoting sport and art in school, rather than sponsoring professional sports and art events in communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that governments should prioritise funding for arts and sports education in schools over supporting professional events in the community. I am totally convinced by the view, as school-based programs bring long-term benefits to younger generations. On the one hand, investing in educational schemes may create various positive effects on young people. First of all, as a majority of schools nowadays often regard these subjects as secondary ones in the curriculum, students who are interested in or gifted in arts and athletics lack opportunities to develop their abilities properly. More than that, even with children who only enjoy being creative or participating in sports games as their hobbies, these activities still play a vital role in helping them to stay healthy mentally and physically. Many studies have proven that those who engage in regular physical exercise are less likely to experience common psychological issues related to stress, depression or anxiety.
On the other hand
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, the public budget is the key financial sponsor for schemes and extracurricular activities in these areas. Professional tournaments or exhibitions can bring various advantages in establishing communities for skilled individuals. These normally appeal to the attention of a wide range of audiences.
Consequently
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, many organisations and businesses are willing to provide financial support for
such
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events as a way to promote their brand images.
For instance
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, the brand Herbal Life's profits have increased significantly after having sponsored the regional football games.
In contrast
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, not many corporations are keen on plans in the academic environment, especially in the long run. The fact is that most academic institutions struggle to find sponsorships for their activities.
In addition
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, since children attending school cannot be financially independent, it is challenging for them to attend or hold artistic and athletic projects by themselves. In short, I hold a firm belief that allocating state expenditure to learning environments is essential. Despite the fact that both professional and educational programs offer multiple advantages, government funding still plays a more crucial role in sustaining these areas for children and schools.

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task achievement
To improve your introduction, you could clearly state your stance earlier for more impact. Try to make it concise and direct.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that directly relates to your opinion and backs it up with examples.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, briefly summarize your main points to reinforce your argument effectively.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear opinion, showing your agreement well throughout the writing.
coherence and cohesion
You use a good structure and logical flow that makes it easy to follow your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Well-rounded education
  • Problem-solving abilities
  • Cognitive skills
  • Healthy habits
  • Obesity prevention
  • Greater inclusivity
  • Communal setting
  • Teamwork
  • Cooperation
  • Shared values
  • Sustainable careers
  • Cost efficiency
  • Societal benefits
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