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Writing Samples
Band 4

The bar chart demonstrates how many inhabitants visit every month from June to October in London.

#bar #inhabitants #visit #month #june #october #london
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The bar chart demonstrates how many inhabitants visit every month from June to October in London.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the number of citizens visiting historic, national and scientific
Museums
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 was a slight decrease over a 4-month
period
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while
Linking Words
 the opposite was true for that of
British
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museums
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. In August, all
Museums
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 were visited the highest. At the beginning of the
period
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, the number of people visiting
History
Correct article usage
the History
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
 was 41
thousand
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, twice as much as that of national
Museums
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while
Linking Words
 citizens visiting Science
Museum
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 was 45
thousand
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, which was a
thousand
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 higher than
British
Use synonyms
Museum
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. There was a sharp growth over a 2-year
period
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. In August, inhabitants visiting
Historic
Correct article usage
the Historic
show examples
, Scientific and
British
Use synonyms
Museum
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 reached the peak of 60
thousand
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,71
thousand
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 and 31
thousand
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 whilst the figure for Science
Museum
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also
Linking Words
 hit the highest point of over 40
thousand
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 in July and August. There was a gradual decline over a 2-year
period
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. October witnessed a steady decrease to 30
thousand
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 in the number of citizens who visited the Science
Museum
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 compared to under 20
thousand
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 that of the National
Museum
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 . At 46
thousand
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, the figure for the people visiting the
British
Use synonyms
Museum
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 was twice as much as that of the History
Museum
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by joyce.ta213 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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