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At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation
In some parts of the world, more distribution of
population
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the population
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 consists of
young
Correct article usage
the young
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generation
 than
older
Correct article usage
the older
show examples
 one.
Although
this
 inclination can be problematic in some cases,
this
sessay
Correct your spelling
essay
 will explain why I believe that some of the benefits for the whole society
is
Change the verb form
are
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 extremely sufficient to outweigh their drawbacks.
To begin
with
Add a comma
,with
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 the negatives, one of the most worrying points the demographic data with a great number of
young
Add an article
a young
the young
show examples
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
 can present is
this
 can
acceralate
Correct your spelling
accelerate
 overpopulation.
This
 is because
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation
 will give more births, which might cause the rising price of
household
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the household
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.
Censequently
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Consequently
, the citizens' living standard could be curtailed
due to
 the increased cost
for
Change preposition
of
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 housing. Another pressing concern is the
firce
Correct your spelling
fierce
first
 job competition in the future.
Considerning
Correct your spelling
Considering
current
Correct article usage
the current
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 trend of expanding life span, old people sometimes need to
compete
Add the preposition
forcompete
show examples
 the same openings with young job seekers, whose number is rising,
thus
 we can assume that the problem
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of umemployment
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umemployment
Correct your spelling
unemployment
 will be
deterionated
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deteriorated
.
On the other hand
, in my opinion, there are certain advantages to
hold
Wrong verb form
holding
show examples
a great deal of
Change the quantifier
a lot of
many
plenty of
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 young people, the most obvious of which is
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the potential reduction of
tax
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the tax
a tax
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 burden that
young
Correct article usage
the young
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generation
 is imposed to cover the cost of
pension
Correct article usage
the pension
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retired
Correct article usage
the retired
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generation
 receives. More
nunber
Correct your spelling
number
 of young
tax payers
Correct your spelling
taxpayers
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 means that less burden for each
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
show examples
 on
this
 matter.
As a result
, those who are young can be freed up more money to spend
their
Change preposition
on their
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 affairs
as well as
 those who are old could obtain more
pension
Fix the agreement mistake
pensions
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.
Furthermore
, young workers who have grown up as digital
native
Fix the agreement mistake
natives
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 should benefit
to
Change preposition
apply
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society. Thanks to new technological
invensions
Correct your spelling
inventions
 that
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 workforce can equip, the country can be
florished
Correct your spelling
flourished
. In conclusion,
whereas
 having a number of young population may cause
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 low quality of life
due to
 the increasing living cost and decreasing job
vacancines
Correct your spelling
vacancies
,
this
 should be
overwelmed
Correct your spelling
overwhelmed
 by the positives
such
 as less tax obligation per person in order to support the retired elderly and their contribution to modern technology which may well bring about
growth
Add an article
the growth
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 of the nation as a whole.
Submitted by lisa_smile_2 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
What to do next:
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