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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the percentage of workers from five different European countries that were absent for a day or more due to illness from 1991 to 2001. Summaries the information by selecting reporting the main feature, and make comparisions where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage of workers from five different European countries that were absent for a day or more due to illness from 1991 to 2001. Summaries the information by selecting reporting the main feature, and make comparisions where relevant.
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The line graph illustrates the proportion of workers from five European nations including
Use synonyms
Netherlands
Correct article usage
the Netherlands
show examples
,
France
Use synonyms
, Sweden,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and Germany who took sick leave for a day or more during the ten-year period.
It is clear that
Linking Words
France
Use synonyms
 saw a significant decrease in the number of people taking time off work
due to
Linking Words
illness
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 there was a remarkable increase in the percentage of citizens absent from Sweden for one day or more
due to
Linking Words
illness
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
Netherlands
Use synonyms
 had the highest rate of people taking leave from work
due to
Linking Words
illness
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 in almost all years, compared to countries other. On the one hand, in 1991 around 5% of the workforce in both the
Netherlands
Use synonyms
 and
France
Use synonyms
 have to take one day or more off work because of
illness
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. Over the next five years, the rate of workers taking sick leave dropped to about 4% in the
Netherlands
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 and just over 3% in
France
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.
Whereas
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 figure dropped slightly to less than 3% over the remaining years in
France
Use synonyms
, the proportion of workers on sick leave in the
Netherlands
Use synonyms
 rose again to around 5.5% in 2001.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words netherlands, france, illness with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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