The graph below shows the percentage of workers from five different European countries that were absent for a day or more due to illness from 1991 to 2001. Summaries the information by selecting reporting the main feature, and make comparisions where relevant.

#percentage #workers #five #european #countries #illness #summaries #information #feature #comparisions

The line graph illustrates the proportion of workers from five European nations including

Netherlands

Correct article usage

the Netherlands

show examples

France

, Sweden,

Correct article usage

the UK

show examples

and Germany who took sick leave for a day or more during the ten-year period.

It is clear that

France

saw a significant decrease in the number of people taking time off work

due to

illness

while

there was a remarkable increase in the percentage of citizens absent from Sweden for one day or more

due to

illness

In addition

, the

Netherlands

had the highest rate of people taking leave from work

due to

illness

in almost all years, compared to countries other. On the one hand, in 1991 around 5% of the workforce in both the

Netherlands

and

France

have to take one day or more off work because of

illness

. Over the next five years, the rate of workers taking sick leave dropped to about 4% in the

Netherlands

and just over 3% in

France

Whereas

this

figure dropped slightly to less than 3% over the remaining years in

France

, the proportion of workers on sick leave in the

Netherlands

rose again to around 5.5% in 2001.

Submitted by anhnguhongmai on Tue Jun 13 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words netherlands, france, illness with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

186 words

7.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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