The graph below shows the percentage of workers from five different European countries that were absent for a day or more due to illness from 1991 to 2001. Summaries the information by selecting reporting the main feature, and make comparisions where relevant.

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The line graph illustrates the proportion of workers from five European nations including

Use synonyms

Netherlands

Correct article usage

the Netherlands

show examples

France

Use synonyms

, Sweden,

Correct article usage

the UK

show examples

and Germany who took sick leave for a day or more during the ten-year period.

It is clear that

Linking Words

France

Use synonyms

saw a significant decrease in the number of people taking time off work

due to

Linking Words

illness

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

there was a remarkable increase in the percentage of citizens absent from Sweden for one day or more

due to

Linking Words

illness

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, the

Netherlands

Use synonyms

had the highest rate of people taking leave from work

due to

Linking Words

illness

Use synonyms

in almost all years, compared to countries other. On the one hand, in 1991 around 5% of the workforce in both the

Netherlands

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and

France

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have to take one day or more off work because of

illness

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. Over the next five years, the rate of workers taking sick leave dropped to about 4% in the

Netherlands

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and just over 3% in

France

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Whereas

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

figure dropped slightly to less than 3% over the remaining years in

France

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, the proportion of workers on sick leave in the

Netherlands

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rose again to around 5.5% in 2001.

Submitted by anhnguhongmai on Tue Jun 13 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words netherlands, france, illness with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

186 words

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The graph below shows the percentage of workers from five different European countries that were absent for a day or more due to illness from 1991 to 2001. Summaries the information by selecting reporting the main feature, and make comparisions where relevant.

In some cultures elderly people are highly valued, while in some other cultures youth are more valued. Discus both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before.What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

Nowadays, there are many individuals who wants to self-employed. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.