IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people now have the freedom to work and live anywhere because of advances in communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #freedom #work #advances #communication #technology #transportation #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Day by day
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 changes with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology and it adds various
newly
Change the word
new
show examples
 features
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 our lives as well.
As a result
 of that, human beings are free enough to work anywhere.
This
 affects
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the new modes of
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
 too. win considering the given statement, I strongly demonstrate that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of that outweigh
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages
show examples
. In the past, civilians were framed to a particular structure where they had Limited facilities and freedom. Mostly, humans after completing their studies
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
were more bound to find a job opportunity in their hometown itself, Meanwhile some decided to work in a place where they had to live away from their families. With
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time, gradually communication became better. After introducing telephone people who lived far away could at least
here
Correct your spelling
hear
show examples
 they are family members, which was a great happiness for them.
Present
Add an article
The present
show examples
 world is much
advance
Correct quantifier usage
more advance
show examples
 when compared to
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
.Video call facilities, email, Facebook, and other social media platforms give us a considerable privilege to connect with our loved ones. If a person is away from their homeland he or she is not going to become
home sick
Correct your spelling
homesick
show examples
.
Advance
Replace the word
Advanced
show examples
 methods of transportation
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 another key feature why people are more comfortable when working anywhere. Though earlier it was
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
 and had given a lot of effort to travel from region to region. Nowadays
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of highways,
introducing
Replace the word
introduction
show examples
Intercity
Change preposition
of Intercity
show examples
 buses,
express
Correct word choice
and express
show examples
 trains with Limited destinations can make our journey fast and tired free. even travelling to another country has become much
comfortable
Correct quantifier usage
more comfortable
show examples
 with the available facilities in airports and aeroplanes. As mentioned above we can identify that it is more convenient for people to work anywhere
due to
 the positive improvements in communication and transportation. In conclusion, I would like to point out that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 outweigh the disadvantages when
examine
Change the verb form
examining
show examples
 the above facts.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: