It is difficult for people in the cities to get enough physical exercise. What are the causes and solutions?

Many peoples said that enough physical
exercise
is a requirement to be healthy, other than a good diet and enough sleep after daily activities.
However
, there is a tendency that people in the urban area
does
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not to get physical
exercise
for various reasons. Most of the inhabitants of
Urbans
Correct article usage
the Urbans
show examples
region wake up early in the morning for work, and sometimes they arrive
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
home late
due to
traffic jams on their trip from the workplace to their house and they are already exhausted
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
carrying out other activities.
Besides
, there are employers who require their employees to take overtime to accomplish their daily jobs at the office, which means that companies do not pay attention to employees'
health
. Both conditions almost impossible for them to take physical
exercise
after working hours. To overcome
this
problem, employers have to implement a work-life balance for their workers.
For example
, oblige all employees to take part in physical
exercise
twice a week.
Besides
, in the rush hour employee can take physical
exercise
after working hours in the gym's nearby office.
On the other hand
, the government need to encourage citizens to take care of their
health
and
this
persuasion is expected able to increase worker's awareness about their
health
.
Furthermore
, the need for physical
exercise
constitutes a business opportunity, whereby the government suggested having
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
policy to facilitate business permits in the urban area for the workers around the office. In conclusion, I contend that employers have a responsibility to implement work-life balance so every employee will have enough time to take physical
exercise
.
On the other hand
, the government have to remind all citizen to increase their consciousness regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
their
health
.
Submitted by odod_aja on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • desk-bound jobs
  • fast-paced urban life
  • conveniences
  • physical exertion
  • barrier
  • densely populated
  • pollution
  • safety concerns
  • urban planning
  • pedestrian areas
  • cycle lanes
  • accessible
  • workplace wellness programs
  • subsidize
  • financial barriers
  • public awareness
  • incorporate
What to do next:
Look at other essays: