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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

it is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages?

#change #people
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there always have been arguments about
change
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 and its outcomes. In
this
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 essay, I will outline the perceived benefits and drawbacks of
change
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 and argue why the pros do in fact outweigh the cons. There are many advantages to
change
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, one of them is that it gives individuals the opportunity to try new things and explore unknown situations;
therefore
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, they might discover new hidden skills and eventually their true potential,
for example
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, in a documentary aired on CNN years ago about seizing opportunities a couple said that after they
change
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 their work, their situation got much better.
Moreover
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, by trying to
change
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 humans would get the chance to meet new people and form new friendships
as well as
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 relationships and
this
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 may
change
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 their lives forever. I totally agree with
this
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; I believe that
change
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 can bring a variety of choices to one's life. Despite the obvious appeal, there are various disadvantages to
this
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 tendency, some argue that
change
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 is not always necessary and because of it individuals can lose the comfort and stability that they already have;
thus
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, they won't risk losing all that,
for instance
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, there are some people who said that they regret quitting their jobs and they weren't able to find a similar occupation.
Furthermore
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, trying new things can be very hard, especially in the beginning,
hence
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, people won't bother going through that again
while
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 they are so comfortable with what they have currently.
To conclude
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, As I have discussed there are many advantages and disadvantages to
this
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 trend;
however
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, I believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.
Submitted by saberyouc on

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extended advice
Task Response: The essay provides a clear response to the prompt, discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of change. However, the conclusion could be more specific in summarizing the author's position.
extended advice
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay exhibits a generally logical structure, although some paragraphs lack clear topic sentences and the connections between ideas could be improved. Additionally, the introduction and conclusion could be more developed to provide a stronger framework for the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adaptability
  • resilience
  • stagnation
  • opportunities
  • personal growth
  • development
  • instability
  • stress
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • innovation
  • technology
  • quality of life
  • flexibility
  • embrace
  • transformative
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