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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people feel that it is necessary to test new medicines on animals, while other people feel that this is not fair on animals and not necessary. Discuss both views ad give your opinion.

#people #test #medicines #animals #ad
Although
 some
people
 though it is not fair to
use
animals
 to test new medicines, others believe that it is vital to
use
 different species to find treatment for society. I believe it is preferable to
use
animals
 to find the right treatment
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 let
people
 die.
However
, many
indiviudals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 do not like the
idea
 to
use
animals
 because they might be
sacrified
Correct your spelling
sacrificed
while
 looking for new medicines.
Firsltly
Correct your spelling
Firstly
, many
people
 considered
animals
such
 as dogs and cats as part of their family members and these
people
 are willing to fight for
animal's
Change noun form
animal
show examples
 rights.
Also
, they believe society is abusing
animals
 to make big profits
while
 producing new
drugs
 that are not necessary to search for.
For instance
, in many
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
 most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 choose to be treated with
hierbs
Correct your spelling
herbs
 when they are sick because they argued that chemicals and
drugs
 are harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 their bodies.
However
, I strongly disagree with
this
 statement because many
people
 are dying from chronic diseases who might be helped by finding the right medication. The vast majority of
people
 support the
idea
 of using
animals
 to be tested with new
drugs
 and find out if these medications are safe for
humans'
Change noun form
humans
show examples
use
. More importantly, history showed us that thanks to using
animals
 many
people
 have
safed
Correct your spelling
saved
 their lives from diseases
such
 as tuberculosis and hepatitis.
Also
, many
drugs
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 were used in
animals
 sometimes were not safe to
use
 on
indiviudals
Correct your spelling
individuals
, and
this
 has
lead
Wrong verb form
led
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
scientists to learn which chemicals are harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 humans. To illustrate, many years ago
people
 were dying from tuberculosis and a scientist came up with the
idea
 of using a new drug on monkeys, and thanks to that thousands of
people
 save their lives. I believe
this
 is a preferable option to
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
people
 from drug intoxication and help those who suffer from diseases.
To conclude
,
although
 using
animals
 to test new medicines might sound
a
Change preposition
like a
show examples
horrific
idea
, it is preferable to
sacrify
Correct your spelling
sacrifice
animals
 than let
people
 get intoxicated with
unknow
Correct your spelling
unknown
show examples
drugs
, so after using
animals
 for trying new
drugs
, many individuals can be benefited from these practices.
Submitted by cuevas14dic on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • efficacy
  • unethical
  • alternative methods
  • in vitro testing
  • computer modeling
  • misleading conclusions
  • strict regulations
  • humane
  • moral concerns
  • advancements in technology
  • viable alternatives
  • phase out
  • medical research
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