The pie chart represents the types of careers that Antropology graduates after completing their Bachelor’s degree course from one University. The table displays the wages after five years of working in this particular field.

The pie chart represents the types of careers that Antropology graduates after completing their Bachelor’s degree course from one University. The table displays the wages after five years of working in this particular field.
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The pie chart illustrates what one university’s graduating
Anthropology
Use synonyms
students continued to do after completing their undergraduate degree,
while
Linking Words
the table displays how much the anthropologists earned 5 years after their graduation in different sectors.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is apparent that the majority of the graduates had a full-time job.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
anthropology
Use synonyms
graduates, who worked as government employees, had the highest salary, followed by freelance consultants and private companies
accordingly
Linking Words
. It is evident that there were approximately half of the graduates worked full-time, compared with only 15%
worked
Correct pronoun usage
who worked
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part-time and 12% of them are unemployed. Graduating students who did
the
Correct article usage
apply
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full-time postgraduate study or did
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
postgraduate study with a part-time job each only made up a minority of the total, at 8% and 5% respectively. Regarding
Anthropology
Use synonyms
graduates’ salaries, forth-fifths of the freelance consultants earned at least $75000 and half of them were in the salary range of more than $100000.
Although
Linking Words
there were
also
Linking Words
80% of federal employees earned at least $75000, a relatively high proportion of public servants, 50% earned at least $100000.
In contrast
Linking Words
, only 55% of those who worked for private companies made a minimum of $75000.
Finally
Linking Words
,
Anthropology
Use synonyms
students with the lowest salary range of $25000 to $49000 account for the smallest proportion of those working as freelance consultants and government employees at only 5%, which was half the figure for private companies.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words anthropology with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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