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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the proportion of business making e-commerce purchases by industry in Canada netween 2015 and 2019.

The chart below shows the proportion of business making e-commerce purchases by industry in Canada netween 2015 and 2019.
#proportion #business #e-commerce #purchases #industry #canada #netween
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The
purchase
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growth
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 of different e-commerce businesses spread
over
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from
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 2015 to 2016 is provided in the bar chart provided. Neither
the
Add a missing verb
does the
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 chart provide the reasons behind all these trends nor the reasons
of
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apply
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why they are not correlated
one
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with one
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 another. In general, these businesses can be
devided
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divided
 into two groups based on their
stability
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 and the highest in
growth
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, from the
growth
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stability
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tand
Correct your spelling
stand
 point,
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information
Correct article usage
the information
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 and communication type of
business
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 is portrayed as a
well established
Add a hyphen
well-established
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business
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 where it has a stable
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purchase
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
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 in 2016, 2017, and 2019 with a total proportion of
Use synonyms
purchase
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
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 of 70% in each
year
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. It is followed by retail with the same feature of being steady at selling in the same
year
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. Unlike the two, wholesale shows a different trend of
stability
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 in selling where its total
sales
Use synonyms
 per
year
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 tend to increase.
In
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From
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Use synonyms
business
Correct article usage
a business
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perspective
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,perspective
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 it is considered stable with
tendency
Add an article
a tendency
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 to increase throughout the years when
this
Linking Words
information
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 was collected.
Secondly
Linking Words
, with regard to the highest
in
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apply
show examples
growth
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,
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information
Correct article usage
the information
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 and communication
business
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 setting is considered the highest with the highest proportion of
sales
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was
Wrong verb form
being
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 more than 70% in 2018. It is,
then
Linking Words
, followed by wholesale and manufacturing especially if the
year
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of
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apply
show examples
2019 is considered. These two have a proportion of
sales
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approximately
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of approximately
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 60%. All in all,
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stability
Correct article usage
the stability
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 and total
sales
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 of an e-commerce
business
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 matter if one has to make a decision on selecting a more profitable
business
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. Based
the
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on the
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information
Use synonyms
 presented, it is sparring that a good
business
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 should have had
a
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apply
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much better
stability
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 and outstanding performance on its
purchase
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 as explicitly shown in the
business
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 setting of
information
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 and communications. One should aim for
such
Linking Words
Use synonyms
business
Correct article usage
a business
show examples
.
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words purchase, growth, stability, information, business, year, sales with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stability" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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