IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
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Nowadays economic
progress
Use synonyms
 plays an important part in our life. So many governments believe that it should be the most important goal. But some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that it is not the most important thing. There are other
progress
Use synonyms
are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
show examples
 equally important. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, we are going to
talking
Wrong verb form
talk
show examples
 about why
people
Use synonyms
 have different views.
Generally
Add a comma
,Generally
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 think
money
Use synonyms
 is everything, if we do not have any
money
Use synonyms
, we can not buy anything. So the
goverments
Correct your spelling
government
governments
 put the economic
progress
Use synonyms
 to the top list. They believe
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic
progress
Use synonyms
 could bring a good
result
Fix the agreement mistake
results
show examples
,
then
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 can have
money
Use synonyms
 to rise satisfaction
about
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their life.
However
Linking Words
, other
types
Use synonyms
 of
progress
Use synonyms
 are not important. Some
people
Use synonyms
 suggest that the government should not put
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic
progress
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the most important place. Because there are other
progress
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as health
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
, building design, or education
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 are the same important as
Correct article usage
the economic
show examples
economic
Replace the word
economy
show examples
 for a country. A country
doesn't
Correct pronoun usage
that doesn't
show examples
 have a
completed
Replace the word
complete
show examples
 system is not a completed country, even if it has a lot of
money
Use synonyms
. In
this
Linking Words
morden
Correct your spelling
modern
 society, more and more
people
Use synonyms
 realize that
money
Use synonyms
 is not the
important
Correct quantifier usage
most important
show examples
 thing in the world, and it doesn't mean anything,
while
Linking Words
 they think health,
Correct word choice
and happeness
show examples
happeness
Correct your spelling
happiness
 are more important than it. Owing to that, some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that other
types
Use synonyms
 of
progress
Use synonyms
 are equally important. From
the
Change the word
my
show examples
 point of my view, I agree with that other
types
Use synonyms
 of
progress
Use synonyms
 are as important as
economic
Replace the word
economics
show examples
. Even though we have a lot of
money
Use synonyms
. we can not buy
happeness
Correct your spelling
happiness
 and health.
Therefore
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments should put other
types
Use synonyms
 of
progress
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 important place as well.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
What to do next:
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